Meredith's Nightmare
by AML15
Summary: Set in the future. Meredith and Derek are happily married and have a family together. Everything seems to be perfect. One day, Meredith faces an impossible situation that will forever change their family.
1. Zoe

**Hey guys! This is a future fic about MerDer and their kids. I did this one kinda differently than my other future fics. The first few chapters are about one of the kids. It will start with the day they are born and flash forward to the age they will be for the rest of the story. So this first chapter is about MerDer's oldest child. Let me know what you think!  
**

* * *

Chapter One – Zoe

"I'm going to need you to push, Meredith." The doctor said. "I can see the head."

"I can't! I can't!"

"Yes you can." Derek whispered in her ear. "You're doing great, Mer. Just one more push and we'll have our baby."

Meredith gripped Derek's hand and a scream tore from her throat as she pushed one last time. The baby came out right into the doctor's ready and capable hands and let out a hearty cry.

"It's a girl." He boomed. There was a flutter of movement as the umbilical cord was cut.

Meredith turned to Derek. "A girl." Her voice was soft and quiet, filled with awe.

Derek smiled broadly and kissed Meredith's forehead. "A baby girl. We have a baby girl." He kissed her again. "You did so great, Hon."

The nurse came over and placed their baby in Meredith's arms. She stared down at the precious face, so tiny and new, and she couldn't remember when she'd ever felt this happy. Her eyes filled with tears, the first joyous tears she ever had shed. "Oh, Derek." She murmured. "She's perfect." She lifted her eyes from her daughter's face and saw there were tears in his eyes too. He smiled.

"She's so beautiful." His hand gently caressed the top of her head before he leaned in and softly kissed her head. "Hey, Princess." He crooned.

"How does it feel, Daddy?" Meredith asked.

"It feels like the best thing in the world." Judging by the look in his eyes, Meredith guessed he had already fallen in love with her. She would have him wrapped around her finger forever.

He was suddenly struck with a thought and he turned to Meredith. "Her name…"

"Yeah."

"Are we still going with Lily?"

Meredith bit her bottom lip. "You're going to hate me, but now that I've met her, she just doesn't seem like a Lily to me."

Derek rubbed his forehead. "What are we naming her then?"

Meredith didn't exactly know. She stared down at her baby girl and was silent for a moment. Then she smiled, remembering a name she'd stumbled upon in her early pregnancy. "Zoe."

"Zoe?" Derek looked at his daughter. "Zoe."

"It means life." Meredith added. "It's fitting, since she's my life now." Her eyes locked with Derek and an unspoken exchange of love was made with one single look. "You two are my life." She said, her voice strong with emotion. "And I love you both very much."

Derek kissed Meredith, long and lingering, and then took his daughter into his arms for the first time.

"Hi, Sweetheart. I'm your Daddy. And you are Zoe Shepherd."

"Zoe _Christine_ Shepherd." Meredith interjected. She paused and then added. "Please." Derek nodded and turned his attention back to the little girl in his arms.

"Zoe Christine Shepherd it is."

* * *

Meredith cringed as she watched her daughter hit the ground for what must have been the fourth or fifth time. She never knew soccer could be such a brutal sport until Zoe became an avid player. She watched Zoe struggle to her feet, pause for the slightest moment, and then break into a run downfield. Her fourteen-year-old was tough, but after each tackle, Meredith noticed she took more time getting back up. This game had proven to be more aggressive than most. Zoe normally dished it out pretty well and could handle whatever was on the receiving end, but the other team was really giving Zoe and her teammates a run for their money this time.

Zoe faced off with a defender for the ball and Meredith noticed a little hip check on Zoe's part. She tried to hide her smile while her daughter escaped with the ball. Zoe struck the ball with her right foot and sent it soaring to the upper left corner of the goal. Meredith held her breath. _It's in! _She thought.

The goalie jumped high and blocked it, hitting it with her fist and sending it rebounding away. An audible groan was heard from the stands. Zoe's teammate was waiting though. As soon as the shot was taken, she was running for the net. When the goalie deflected it, she saw her golden opportunity. She got the ball quickly under control and with one smooth touch of the foot, she redirected the ball into the net before the goalie even knew what was happening. The fans erupted into cheers. Zoe practically tackled her teammate in her excitement.

The joy was short-lived when the other team countered and tied up the score. Time went on and the intensity rose. Meredith watched Zoe get fowled a few more times and each time it scared her a little more. Derek was much calmer. He just sat there enjoying the game and cheering on Zoe. He never worried about her. He called her his tough cookie because he knew it would take a lot to get Zoe off the field.

Zoe jumped up for a header and sent the ball down line to a teammate, but at the same time she also sent the other team's player going for the header down to the ground when they collided. The ref blew his whistle and the other team was given a free kick.

"The ref must be blind!" Derek muttered. Meredith looked amusingly at her husband. He got so into these games sometimes. He caught her look. "What? That was a dumb call."

"Why's that?"

"Both girls jumped into each other. Zoe just happened to hit the ball and not fall down. She staggered when she landed, but because the other girl fell, the ref called it a fowl." He sounded so irritated with the whole matter.

Meredith couldn't help but laugh. "You're too competitive. You're like one step short of those psycho competitive parents who screams at the ref and bad mouths the other team and scolds their kids in the middle of the game for a bad play." She teased.

Derek stared back at her in astonishment. "I am not!" He tried to hide a smile and pretend to look offended to make her apologize, but her accusation was outrageous and hilarious at the same time and the smile broke through. Their attention was diverted from the game until a shrill whistled brought it back. It startled them to see Zoe lying on the ground.

"What happened?" Meredith asked frantically, but Derek just shook his head, dumbfounded. She got to her feet and started towards the field. Derek followed her until they had reached the sideline where they waited. The trainer and Zoe's coach had run out to the field and now surrounded her. She was on her back and looked to be conscious, but no one made any move to get her to her feet. The trainer knelt by her side and was questioning her. At one point, the trainer said something to the coach and both grabbed one of Zoe's shoulders and helped her sit up. Meredith was too far away to know if her daughter was ok. She didn't want them to hastily bring Zoe off the field if she was seriously injured, but the suspense was killing her. After what seemed like hours – but was probably only ten minutes – the trainer and Zoe's coach helped Zoe to her feet. They paused and let her steady herself before walking carefully beside her, supporting her the whole way. The crowd clapped and cheered respectfully and some of Zoe's teammates patted her back or murmured something to her as she walked past.

"Is she ok?" Meredith questioned as soon as they were in earshot. The coach just looked at her but didn't respond. They finally got to the edge of the field and placed Zoe on the bench. Derek and Meredith edged the trainer out of the way and knelt in front of Zoe. They would make their own assessment of Zoe's condition.

Derek framed Zoe's face with his hands as he looked keenly at her pupils to see if they were dilated.

"Where did you hit your head?" Meredith asked. Zoe lifted her left hand and pointed to the edge of her forehead where it met her hairline. "Right here."

"Do you have a headache?" Derek asked.

"Yeah." Zoe said. She didn't seem incoherent or confused at all. She looked at the trainer standing behind her parents looking a little peeved. Meredith noticed it too but ignored it. She was a doctor and this was her kid. She was going to take care of her, not watch while someone else did her job.

"Do you feel nauseous or dizzy?"

"No to the nauseous part and I did feel dizzy right after the blow, but not anymore."

"Did you loose consciousness at all?" Meredith asked next.

"No, mom." Zoe sounded annoyed. Meredith tucked her lower lip between her teeth to keep from smiling. Zoe hated it when her parents got into "Doctor mode" over her whenever she was sick or hurt. She told them often that they were way too overprotective when it came to these things.

"Ok, Zoe, one last question: how's your vision?"

"It's fine. No double vision, no blurriness, nothing."

"Good." Derek said. From what they could tell, Zoe seemed to be fine, but they would keep a close eye on her. Zoe would complain the whole time, but she would have to deal with it.

Derek turned to the trainer who was standing near by and the coach who hadn't been paying much attention to the game and informed them he was taking Zoe home.

The coach nodded, but the trainer just stared.

"Can't I stay for the rest of the game?" Zoe begged.

"No." Derek said firmly.

"If I'm well enough not to be rushed to the hospital, I should be allowed to stay and watch the game." Zoe folded her arms and stared up at Derek.

"I said no, Zoe."

"But this is my team! I need to support them!" Zoe had made the varsity team her freshman year of high school, making both her parents extremely proud, but they had never anticipated the strong bond she would form with her team. Derek's expression softened a little.

"Zoe, I know you love your team, but I think they'll understand if you can't stay."

"Yeah, we want you better for the regional matches next week." Her coach put in.

"Get out of here, Zoe." One of her teammates on the bench teased.

Zoe sighed, seeing that if her coach and entire team was on her dad's side, there was no way she was winning this argument. "This is so unfair." She muttered as she walked past Derek, headed towards the car. Meredith came up next to her and slid an arm around her waist.

"You can get back at him by showing everyone how completely fine you are at the regional match next week by kicking some major butt."

"Oh you can count on that!" Zoe said enthusiastically.

All three climbed into their car. Derek had grabbed Zoe's gym bag and now handed it back to her. He put the car in reverse and backed out of the parking space. He looked at Zoe for a second in the rearview mirror. She was so much like Meredith; Smart and strong, kind and impulsive. Not to mention she had the same beautiful green eyes, gorgeous smile, and contagious laughter. She was Mer's daughter through and through. Even though the teenage years with her were proving to be a challenge, Derek was proud of the person she was growing up to be. He had no doubt she would change the world someday.

* * *

**Review PLEASE!!!!**


	2. Greyson

**Here is baby #2! the first few chapters are just an introduction to the characters. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter two – Greyson

"Come on, Baby, we're almost there." Derek tried to sooth his wife, who was drenched in sweat and thoroughly exhausted.

After a few hours of labor that were not as long as the first time, but still difficult, it was almost time. The doctor said one final push would do it and the baby would come. Meredith mustered up all the remaining strength she could and pushed. A cry filled the air and Meredith sank back into the pillow with exhaustion.

"It's a boy! You have a son!"

Meredith and Derek exchanged a smile. They had wanted a boy. They would have loved another girl, but they really wanted one of each. And now they had their boy.

"He's a big boy!" the doctor laughed. "10 lbs. 6 oz.!"

Derek looked astonished and then stared at his wife with newfound appreciation. "Thank you."

"You owe me. Big time." She teased. Their baby boy was almost two weeks overdue. He had had time to do a little more growing before he came out.

Of course, all of the anger, fatigue, pain, irritation, it all went away when Meredith had her son in her arms. It had been more than worth it, that was for sure. Meredith held him close and kissed his tiny face. Her sweet little boy, who she hoped would be just like Derek. "I love you, sweet boy." She whispered. It felt right, having this little person added to their family. She couldn't wait to introduce him to Zoe.

She soon handed him over to Derek and watched them proudly. Her boys.

"Hey, big guy." Derek smiled. "Are we set on the name this time or do we need to rethink?" He teased Meredith.

"No, we are set. Greyson George Shepherd fits him very well."

"Did you hear that, little buddy?" Derek spoke to his son. "Your name is Greyson George. That's for your mom, who went through a lot to get you here so make sure you thank her later on down the road," Meredith laughed, then picked up where Derek had left off.

"And for your late Uncle George." She said softly. "He was a good doctor and a great friend. He would have gone crazy over you." Meredith remembered taking trips with George up to the maternity ward to look at the babies their intern year. Yes, he would have loved his namesake. It still hurt to think about how he wasn't here anymore. He should still be here, but the world was never fair like that. Nevertheless, this new baby boy, named after their dear friend George, restored their hope in the good things that come from this life, that it isn't always bad that happens. A new life was a reason to celebrate.

Later that night, Meredith lay with Greyson asleep in one arm and two-year-old Zoe snuggled up on the other side of her. Zoe's eyes were open, but she was worn out and would probably drop off into sleep any moment. Meeting Greyson had gone over very well. Zoe was so excited, much to Meredith and Derek's relief. They didn't expect Zoe would get too jealous or harbor any negative feelings towards the baby, but she had been the only child thus far and it would have been natural for her to feel that way, especially at her age.

Meredith glanced down to see Zoe was out and softly snoring. She caught Derek's eye and shared a sweet smile. Their little firecracker was finally asleep.

The door opened and Lexie poked her head in. "Sorry if I'm interrupting, but my shift just ended and I wanted to see my nephew, but if you guys are tired of visitors or –"

"Lexie, its fine. Get in here." Meredith ordered kindly. Lexie smiled with relief and fully entered the room. She came to the side of the bed that Greyson was on and reached out on and to stroke the top of his head.

"He's got a lot of hair!" Lexie laughed. "Derek's hair, I see." Greyson's head was covered in silky black hair. From the baby pictures Meredith had seen of Derek, he had looked the same way when he was born.

"Want to take him, Aunt Lexie?" Meredith offered. Lexie didn't need to be asked twice. She carefully lifted Greyson out of Meredith's arms and cradled him expertly.

"He's a keeper." Lexie said with obvious affection for her first nephew.

"Yeah, we kind of like him." Derek responded. Meredith laughed. They were totally crazy about him. Anyone could see that.

"How did Zoe take to him?" Lexie asked.

"She was really good with him. I think they are going to get along just fine."

* * *

"Mom! Help!" Greyson screamed.

Meredith heard a splash and looked up to find Zoe standing near the creek and almost all of twelve-year-old Greyson's body submerged under water.

"Zoe!" Meredith yelled. "What did you do that for?" They had only been camping for two days and already fights were breaking out between the two.

Zoe turned to her mother. "He asked for it, mom! He was being a smart-aleck."

Greyson got out quickly, soaked to the bone and scowling at his sister. Zoe sent him a satisfied smiled and back away as hastily as she could before Greyson could retaliate. She spun around quickly and ran into Derek. He had seen the whole thing and came to give his son a hand.

Zoe was lifted off her feet and carried quickly to the water, fighting and struggling the whole way. Meredith watched her husband and daughter both fall into the creek, which was luckily deep enough so that no one hit their heads on the rocks. Greyson stood by and flashed a grin to Meredith. She shook her head. He had probably deserved to be pushed into the water. He was a sweet kid at heart, but he had an annoying streak he reserved for Zoe and their cousin Natalie. Whenever they went on family camping trips, he tended to act out since he was the only boy around. Even though Natalie was younger than Zoe, she had more patience with Greyson than Zoe did so most of the time it was just Meredith's kids misbehaving.

Zoe and Derek came out of the creek, now dripping wet just like Greyson. Natalie had gone off with Mark to find some firewood. They had just reached the campsite and Natalie noticed Derek, Zoe, and Greyson all wearing drenched clothes. She paused and then responded with; "I don't even want to know."

"Go dry off." Meredith told her three troublemakers. They moved towards the trailer and as Derek passed her, she grabbed his hand. "You know, the kids are supposed to follow _your_ example, not the other way around." She remarked.

"I'm just looking out for Grey." Derek replied.

"You're such a child." Meredith teased with a smile.

Grey had changed quickly and plopped down in a folding chair next to Meredith. He was small for his age – a fact that pleased Zoe because it meant she could still beat on him every now and then – but he what he lacked in stature he made up for in intellect. Zoe and Grey were both smart, but Greyson applied himself. He idolized Derek and wanted to be a doctor just like him. With Greyson being very determined and disciplined, Meredith and Derek realized that they could very well have another Dr. Shepherd in the family eventually.

Greyson's shaggy brown hair was still matted down and stuck to his head, even a little around his face. He had Derek's hair, but he had much less concern for how it looked at twelve years old and He needed a haircut badly. His deep blue eyes were aglow with mischief and Meredith wondered what her son was plotting. When Meredith heard a scream come from the trailer, she realized that Greyson had already put his plan into action. Meredith turned stern eyes to her son. "Greyson what did you do?"

Greyson tried to pull off an innocent smile, but he didn't fool anybody. Zoe jumped out of the trailer and ran at Greyson.

"Greyson George Shepherd, I'm going to kill you!"

Meredith caught Derek's eye and a look passed between them. Oh that boy…

* * *

**Review! Review! Review!**


	3. Evelyn

**Hey all! I know you're all getting curious about how this story if going to turn out. We'll get into the main story in the next chapter. For now, I'm going to introduce you to Meredith and Derek's youngest child. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter three – Evelyn

"Derek, I have to tell you something." Meredith said seriously. They had just gotten back from their niece's birthday party, at which Meredith had secretly been vomiting her guts out. She had thought it might have been a touch of food poisoning or maybe the stomach flu, but then she came to the startling revelation that she was several weeks late. An hour later, she felt completely fine.

"What is it?" Derek noticed the weight of her tone and it frightened him.

"I think I might be pregnant."

Several emotions crossed his face as he took in this news. First, surprise at the unexpected news, then pure joy, and finally concern. "Are you ok? You don't look too thrilled."

"It's not that, Derek. I'm not as young as I was with Zoe and Greyson. I'm worried that something will go wrong."

Derek looked at his wife of almost eight years. "Honey, you are not old. The baby will be just fine."

"You don't know that Derek!" Meredith snapped. She was nearly frantic now, pacing back and forth in their bed room. She stopped in front of him. "I have a feeling." She said softly. Derek reached out and drew her into his arms.

"It's ok." He whispered. "We're all going to be ok. You and the baby will be just fine."

But Meredith wasn't finished. "Not too mention there will be a big age difference between Zoe, Grey, and the new baby." Meredith added. Derek quickly did the math on how old the kids would be when the baby was born.

"Mer, six years and four years is not that bad." Derek insisted. He waited to see if she would bring up any more concerns. She was silent. "Besides," Derek continued. "Just the other day you were freaking out because Grey is going to preschool soon and you felt like your baby was growing up too fast." Derek spread his hand along Meredith's stomach. "Now you have another few years before you have to worry about your baby growing up too fast."

Meredith wrapped her arms around Derek's neck and pulled him closer. She kissed him with all the love she had for him and when they finally broke apart, Meredith felt like her world had righted itself again.

"Thank you." She whispered

"For what?"

"For always knowing the right thing to say when I start to freak out." She smiled then, out of pure and simple joy. "We're having another baby!"

Derek felt like his heart would burst. Another baby. He was already so in love with Zoe and Greyson. He couldn't believe he would have one more son or daughter in a matter of months.

* * *

"Ok, Meredith, we are going to get you ready for the C-section now." The doctor had told her. Meredith had known this was coming but it still didn't make her feel any less scared. Her eyes sought Derek's and she was practically begging for reassurance when she asked him; "She's going to be ok, isn't she?"

It was a girl. They had found out beforehand this time. Unfortunately, their baby girl was about to be born at only 29 weeks. For once, Derek didn't have the prefect words to say. He stared at Meredith with such a strong grip of fear around his heart.

He'd never been more scared in his life than when his baby daughter was brought into the world and immediately rushed off to the NICU. He had stayed with Meredith and held her hand. At that moment, he was helpless. He had always been able to protect his children and keep them safe, but as he watched his tiny little girl wheeled out in an incubator, he knew he could do nothing at this moment to save her. It was up to the doctors, the _other_ doctors, because it didn't matter if he had a medical degree, he couldn't help. He had never felt so lost and useless.

Meredith was urgently trying to fight back tears and loosing the battle, but she wanted to be strong. Her baby needed her to stay strong for her. She squeezed Derek's hand as hard as she could and tried not to loose control of her fears.

* * *

Evelyn Grace was a fighter. Tiny and covered with tubes and wires, she was still hanging on. She was put on a respirator to help her breathe. Her weight was a mere 2 lbs 5 oz. Derek watched her from outside her little incubator and fought the urge to get her out and cradle her tiny form close to him. It was the same way he comforted Zoe when she had a nightmare or Greyson when he fell and hurt himself. Evelyn was struggling to live and all Derek wanted to do was let her know he was there, but he couldn't even hold her

Derek heard movement behind him and turned to see his sister-in-law cautiously approaching him. "I just wanted to let you know that Zoe and Grey are here. I wasn't sure if I should let them in or not."

"Yeah, of course. Let them come in." Derek said. Lexie left the room but returned in a moment with Zoe and Grey at her sides.

"Daddy!" four-year-old Grey ran to Derek and was swept up into his father's strong, protective arms.

"Hey, Bubba." Derek squeezed him close for a moment then set him back on the ground.

"Where's the baby, Daddy?" Grey's young face was alight with an uncontainable curiosity and excitement.

"In there, Bub." Derek pointed to Evelyn's incubator. Grey stood on his tippy-toes and still couldn't see her very well. Derek picked him back up and then looked over at Zoe. She was watching warily from a distance. They had told her that the baby was "sick" because she was too small, but nobody told her how she was going to get better or when. Zoe wasn't sure how to act and she was filled with conflicting emotions. Derek saw her inner turmoil and beckoned her to him. "Come here, Zo."

Zoe went willingly. Derek placed a hand on her slim shoulder. "That's your baby sister, Evelyn." Zoe looked more closely at the baby and then back at Derek. He smiled at her and she knew then that it was ok to be happy the baby was here even if she was worried about her. Zoe smiled back.

"Where's mommy?" Grey asked.

"She's resting." Derek told him. He saw a flicker of fear in Zoe's eyes. "She's just fine. She needs some time to rest. That's all."

"When can I see her?" Zoe wanted to know. Derek looked over at Lexie. She nodded, knowing he wanted her to check if Meredith was asleep or not. When she was gone, Derek talked with Zoe and Greyson about Evelyn and tried to help them understand what it was going to be like having a premature sibling in the hospital. Lexie came back soon, saying Meredith was awake and was begging to see the kids. Greyson jumped up and down with excitement.

"Grey, you can't be up on the bed with Mommy when we go in there." Derek warned him. He was too much of an active, rambunctious child to allow sitting next to Meredith. He'd be jumping all over her within seconds and Meredith was still recovering from the C-section.

Grey didn't pout or whine, but followed his father obediently through the hospital all the way to their mother's room. When they entered, Grey ran up to the bed, but didn't climb up. Derek sent him an approving smile. Zoe walked to the other side of the bed and just stared at her mom. She'd never seen her in a hospital bed before.

"Hey, Zoe." Meredith reached a hand out and ran it over Zoe's long blonde hair. "Don't worry about me, kiddo. I'm just tired."

"Mommy, we saw the baby!" Grey announced. "She's little."

Meredith shot a concerned look at Derek. "How's she doing?"

"Evelyn's hanging in there. She's stubborn, like her mom." Derek teased.

Meredith nodded. She was worried sick about her tiny girl, but maybe their little fighter would make it.

* * *

Meredith parked the car outside the dance studio and walked up the stairs into the building. Down the hall and to the right, she found the room filled with several girls in pink leotards and ballet slippers. Evelyn was there, a concentrated look on her cute face while they finished practicing. She looked like Derek mostly, but there was a little bit of Meredith in her. Her hair was long, dark, and beautiful, but her eyes were green like Meredith's. She was the smallest in the class, Meredith noticed. Evelyn had always been short and petite. At eight years old, she looked to be about the age of seven or six year old. Derek called her their tiny dancer.

The dance instructor wrapped up the lesson and the girls were free to go. Evelyn spotted Meredith and ran to her. "Hi, Mama." She said sweetly, wrapping her slip arms around Meredith. Meredith heart melted. Evelyn was such a sweet girl.

"Hi, baby." Meredith took her hand and they walked out together. Once in the car, Meredith started to head home, but Evelyn had different ideas.

"Mama, can we stop for ice cream?" Evelyn pleaded. Her mom hesitated before answering. Zoe and Grey would be jealous if she got Evelyn something and not them. She couldn't order something to go for them because the ice cream would melt.

"I don't think so, Hon." Meredith said.

"Please?" Evelyn tired once more. Meredith sighed. If Derek got to spoil Greyson for being the only boy, she should be allowed to spoil her youngest. The only one really getting the short end of the deal was Zoe, but Meredith would make it up to her another day. She could take her shopping or something. Besides, kids always needed a little special attention, didn't they?

"Sure, baby, we can stop for ice cream."

Evelyn smiled triumphantly. Sweet as she was, she knew she had her parents wrapped around her finger and used it to her advantage sometimes. Luckily, at this age, it was just for things like ice cream or a toy at the store.

"Don't worry, Mama, I won't tell Zoe or Greyson. Or even Daddy!" Evelyn promised.

Meredith smiled at Evelyn through the rear view mirror. "That's right, girly. This is our secret."

* * *

**Well??? REVIEW PLEASE!!!!! do you want to know what's going to happen with this family???**


	4. Unexpected Horror

**Hey all! it's the chapter you've all been waiting for! it's short, i know, but the next one is much longer. enjoy!  
**

* * *

Chapter four – unexpected horror

Meredith had been pulling a 24 hour shift in the pit and it was almost time to go home. She was missing Zoe's sectional championship game and it was driving her crazy. Derek was there now with Greyson and Evelyn. She glanced at the clock. The game was probably almost over. She wondered how Zoe was doing.

"Meredith, aren't you supposed to be gone by now?" Izzie wondered as she walked past.

"Nope. Two more hours." Meredith groaned. "I'm missing Zoe's sectional game."

"I hear ya. Last week, Theoren hit a homerun in the last inning of the game with the bases loaded and it allowed them to pull ahead of the other team and they won. I was here the whole time and I missed it."

"It's the price we suffer for being parents _and_ doctors." Meredith concluded.

They all had kids around the same age. Theoren Karev was the same age as Zoe while Natalie Sloan was just a year younger than them. Greyson was a year younger than Natalie and George Karev was a year younger than Greyson. Only Evelyn was the odd one out with no one close to her in age, but it didn't matter. She was everyone's favorite and got plenty of attention being the youngest in the group. Between the Karevs, Shepherds, and Sloans, the kids of these doctors had grown up together and become very good friends.

Izzie was called over to help a patient that had just come in the ER. The last few hours in the pit had been slow. Meredith checked her phone to see if maybe Derek had called about the status of the game, but there was nothing.

"Hey Iz, I just remembered Greyson wanted me to ask if George could come with him and Derek when they go fishing this weekend." Meredith said to Izzie as she worked on finishing her charts while Izzie treated a patient.

"Oh, he would love to! I'll tell when I get off." Izzie started to say something else, but she got cut off.

"We just got a call about car crash victims on there way here." Owen announced urgently. Meredith and Izzie jumped into action.

"We're on our way." Izzie said. They got prepared and then waited outside with a few interns for the ambulances to arrive. They saw the first one pull in and make its way to the drop off. The doors swung open and the EMT immediately started to rattle off the details. "This is the driver of the vehicle. His car was hit on the passenger side by a drunk driver in an intersection and it also caused the car to flip over. He's got a gash on his forehead from the steering wheel and a possible concussion…."

The gurney was lowered out of the ambulance and onto the ground. Meredith caught a glimpse of the victim's face and her heart stopped.

"…The driver's name is Derek Shepherd."

* * *

**Crazy right???? review!!!**


	5. In Over My Head

**Hey guys here's the latest chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter five – in over my head

Meredith couldn't move. Her mind was racing in several different directions yet none of her train of thoughts seemed to make much sense, all the while her body just wouldn't move.

"Get him inside." Izzie ordered. "Page both of the Dr. Sloan's, Dr. Karev, Dr. Yang, and Dr. Bailey."

She turned to Meredith and placed her hands on her shoulders. "Mer, are you ok? Can you hear me?"

Meredith's eyes were wide with shock and she didn't respond for several minutes. When she finally spoke, it was two words said with great terror. "My kids?"

Izzie's eyes grew wider too. "They were in the car with him?"

Meredith nodded.

"I'm sure they are fine, Mer." Izzie encouraged, but Meredith was still in a state of shock and Izzie wasn't sure if she even processed that she was speaking to her. They both heard the sound of another ambulance in the distance and Meredith started to run, but Izzie grabbed her. "Meredith, they are coming right here. Just wait."

The ambulance pulled up and once again the doors flew open. "Twelve-year-old male on the side of impact. He's got internal bleeding and serious head trauma."

"Oh my god, Greyson!" Meredith screamed before she even saw him. He was pulled out of the ambulance and wheeled into the hospital. Meredith was torn trying to decide if she should follow her son and husband or wait for her daughters. Mark rushed outside in time to see Greyson on the gurney. On an impulse, she yelled at Mark. "Go with him!" Mark stayed with the stretcher that carried his nephew, unable to even ask what was going on. He would have to find out later.

Two more ambulances drove in and Meredith felt like she was going to loose her mind. "Stay calm." She told herself, but it was no use.

"Eight-year-old female in the crash. She has a punctured lung, possible broken ribs, lacerations on her arm and abdomen and broken leg."

"Evelyn, baby." Meredith moaned. She reached for her hand, but Evelyn was unconscious and didn't respond. Suddenly Alex was there and he placed a hand on Meredith's shoulder. "It's ok, Mer. I got her." Alex pushed the stretcher inside in an instant and Meredith was left waiting for the last ambulance to unload her daughter, her Zoe.

"Fourteen-year-old female on the passenger side of the car. Her right hip is dislocated and her leg is in bad shape. She's got a small –"

"Mom!"

Meredith jumped when she realized Zoe was conscious. Her face was bloody and bruised, but she was awake.

"Oh my god, Zoe! Honey, you're alive! You're all alive!" Meredith squeezed Zoe's hand and ran along side the gurney into the ER. When she got inside, she looked around. Derek was in a trauma room with Owen, Greyson was with Mark and Bailey, and Evelyn was Alex. Zoe was wheeled off to Callie. Her leg was a mangled mess of contorted bones, torn muscles, and bleeding wounds. Meredith froze. To whom did she go to first? All four of her loved ones needed her.

"Mom!" Zoe cried. Meredith ran to her. Go with the conscious one first.

"Her hip is dislocated." Callie explained, although Meredith already knew. "I don't want to try and relocate it until I know what's going on with the rest of her leg."

Meredith nodded. "Do whatever you have to do."

"Mom," Zoe whimpered. "My leg hurts."

"I know, Hon. They are going to give you something for the pain." Meredith shot a look to a nearby intern. He jumped. "Oh, I'm on it."

"She doesn't appear to have any head trauma or internal bleeding. Nothing else seems to be a problem but the leg. We're going to clean up the wounds on her leg and then take her down to get x-rays and an MRI."

"Ok, thank you." Meredith turned to Zoe and told her not to be scared, that she would be there when she got back. Zoe nodded but didn't want to let go of Meredith's hand. Meredith had a hard time trying to get her to let go. "You're going to be just fine, sweetheart." Meredith promised, finally releasing her hand from Zoe's as she was wheeled off to get imaging.

Then Meredith overheard Alex in trauma 3 and she felt her blood go cold.

"….She's crashing!"

Meredith sprinted into the room in time to see Alex with paddles in hand and her daughter in cardiac arrest.

"Clear!" Alex pressed the paddles down onto Evelyn's tiny form and she was jolted up, but nothing happened.

"No…" Meredith whispered. Alex ordered to charge again.

"Clear!"

Meredith eyes were glued onto the monitor. Still no change.

"No! Come on, Baby!"

Alex ordered to charge again. "Come on, Evelyn. Clear!"

Evelyn's heart started up again and Alex let out a huge sigh of relief. Meredith felt a tight pain in her chest something like to panic seizing her heart. Her breath started coming in rapid, ragged spurts and she felt the ground going topsy-turvy under her feet and grabbed the wall for support. She felt someone's arm come around her waist for support and she turned to stare into the concerned eyes of Christina.

"Mer…"

"I'm ok." She lied. "I just – I don't – what am I supposed to do?" Christina didn't know how to respond to the look of complete uncertainty and agony on Meredith's face. Her entire family was fighting for her lives and she was stuck watching. She had just witnessed her young daughter's heart almost failing and it had shaken her to the core. She didn't think she could deal with that feeling three more times with her husband and two older ones. A chilling thought crept into her mind and left her feeling cold and empty. She faced her best friend and started to voice it.

"What if one of them doesn't –"

"No, Mer, don't! Don't think like that. You need to be strong. You have to believe they are all going to walk away from this."

Meredith nodded, but fell silent. She didn't know what else to say. Swift movement caught her eye and Meredith saw her sister running into the ER, searching frantically. When she locked eyes with Meredith, she sped up. Meredith pushed her unsteady self to her feet and met Lexie half way. They collided in a reckless, terrified embrace.

"I just heard. I can't believe it. Oh my god, are they ok? Where are they? I cant even… geez Mer, how are you holding up?"

Meredith didn't even pay attention to the overflowing words of concern coming from Lexie. She just buried her head in her sister's shoulder, wishing this was all just one horrible dream.

Lexie saw Mark come out of the trauma room that Greyson was in. She wrapped an arm around Meredith's waist and propelled her forward. "Come on."

"Mark, what's going on?" Lexie asked. "How is he doing?"

The look on Mark's face was enough to send chills down Meredith's spine. "Is he ok?" She asked in a shaky voice.

"He's still hanging in there, but it doesn't look good, Meredith. He's pretty banged up."

"Tell me what's wrong with him." Meredith ordered. Mark looked uncertain. "Tell me, Mark. I can handle it."

"He's got a traumatic brain injury. There's a lot of intracranial pressure and it looks serious. On top of that, He is bleeding internally." Mark sympathetically gripped her shoulder. "Like I said, it doesn't look good."

Meredith didn't respond. Her eyes moved passed them to the nearly lifeless form of her twelve-year-old son. He was such a lively boy. Greyson could never sit still for more than five minutes before he was itching to run wild. How was it that her active, healthy, adventurous little boy was laying on a hospital gurney barely alive? He could pull through this, couldn't he? He was strong enough, right? Meredith wrapped her arms around her midsection and tried to control her shaking. She didn't want to think about what it would mean if he didn't survive this, if they_ all _didn't survive this.

* * *

**Please review of you want to read more!! **


	6. Dying For You To Live

**Hey all! Here is the next chapter! Thank you for your reviews and keep them coming! **

* * *

Chapter six – dying for you to live

"Meredith, he needs to go into surgery. Mer, did you hear me?" Mark asked.

"Mer?" Lexie grabbed her arm.

"I heard. I just –" Meredith shrugged. "I guess I'm still trying to process everything."

Lexie nodded sympathetically. They understood. This couldn't be easy for anyone. The fact that Meredith was still on her feet showed incredible strength on her part.

"I'm scrubbing in." Meredith surprised both of them by saying. Mark disagreed immediately.

"You can't. You know that. If something were to go wrong… If you got emotional…"

"It's not a good idea." Lexie added. Meredith got a fiercer look in her eye at being denied this, even though she knew they were right.

"He's my son."

"That is exactly why you can't, Meredith. Come on, you know it's just not a good idea."

"Fine." Meredith sank into a seat nearby and buried her head in her hands. Lexie felt tears prick her eyes and sat down next to Meredith. It just wasn't fair, as childish as that sounded. Lexie couldn't believe all this was happening.

As they sat and waited while Greyson was taken off to the OR, Lexie glanced around at the rest of the family. Only Derek and Evelyn were in the ER now. A few more patients had come and gone in the time since the Shepherds had been brought in. The doors to the ER swung open and another patient was brought in on a gurney. He didn't look to be in very good shape. Lexie overheard Christina and the paramedic and hoped Meredith couldn't hear them as well.

"Male driver, 35 years old. He was driving intoxicated and crashed into a family in a minivan…."

Christian froze. "Repeat that last part."

The paramedic stopped mid-sentence about the patience's injuries and did as Christina asked. Christiana's eyes found Lexie's and they both understood who this was. They quickly glanced at Meredith to find her head up and eyes glued to the man with a look of deep hatred on her face. She was up on her feet faster than they could blink, running toward the man. Lexie shot up after her and Christina blocked Meredith.

"Meredith, stop!"

"He did this!" Meredith screamed frantically. Lexie had her arms around Meredith's waist from behind and Christina stood in front of her with her arms holding Meredith still.

"Meredith, don't! Derek and the kids need you right now!"

"He did this!" Meredith turned to the unconscious man. "You did this to my family! They weren't doing anything wrong and you crashed into them! You selfish bastard! Why? Why!"

Meredith sank to her feet and Lexie caught her part way and went down next to her. Christina crouched down and Meredith grabbed her and held on to both her sister and her best friend. Her entire frame shook with heart wrenching sobs. "They didn't do anything wrong…" She muttered pathetically. "…they didn't do anything wrong…why is this happening?"

"Meredith…" Lexie whimpered. She didn't know what to say. She brushed a strand of hair off her sister's face and held her close. They stayed like this, all three huddled on floor, for a long time, for as long as Meredith needed.

* * *

"…Her knee is practically shattered. There is so much damage to it. We'll need to get her into surgery for that. Her hip can be relocated pretty easily but she'll need months of physical therapy with all the hip and knee problems she's going to have from this…"

Meredith listened to Callie as she informed her about Zoe. She had regained her composure and now was trying to be the pillar of strength her family needed. Out of all four, Zoe was in the best shape, but that didn't mean she wasn't in bad shape. Callie glanced at Zoe in the other room before continuing.

"Look, you probably already know this, but with the extent of her injuries –"

"Soccer is out of the picture." Meredith finished. Yes, she knew. The problem was telling Zoe. Soccer was her whole life. Making varsity her freshman year had been so huge for her. How was Meredith supposed to tell her that it was all over? Everything she had worked for was gone in the time it took a drunken idiot to crash into a minivan.

"Is she awake?" Meredith wanted to know.

"Yeah, you can stay with her until her surgery is scheduled if you want."

Meredith took the opportunity and entered Zoe's hospital room. She was lying there, pale and bruised in a few areas. There were several small cuts all over her body from where bits of the windshield and windows had made their make. He leg was propped up. It looked very painful and Meredith was glad there were such things as pain meds.

"Hey, Sweetie." Meredith reached out and patted Zoe's arm. She wanted to crush her in a hug but she knew her girl must be in a lot of pain so she stuck with being gentle.

"Mom," Zoe's voice croaked. "How is dad? And Grey and Ev?"

Meredith forced an assuring smile. "They are being troopers just like you. How are you feeling, Zo?"

"I'm not going to lie. Being hit by a car and then having your own car flip over is not as fun as it sounds." Zoe joked sarcastically. "It really kills the victory mood."

Meredith tried to hide her inner sorrow about the mention of Zoe's game. "So you won? That's so great!"

"Yeah the state quarter finals are next week. I know I won't be better by then, but do you think I can go, Mom?" Zoe asked so innocently. Meredith couldn't find it in her heart to deny her, even if Zoe would still be recovery from her surgery.

"Of course you can."

Zoe watched Meredith closely. "Mom, why do you seem so upset?"

"It's nothing. Watching your family get wheeled into the ER is not as fun as it sounds." Meredith said with a hint of teasing in her voice, even though the last thing she felt like doing was laughing. It brought a momentary smile to Zoe's face, but she soon looked more sober. "Everyone else is really ok?"

"All of your injuries are serious, but I know for a fact that you and your siblings got a healthy dose of my stubbornness so you should be just fine." Meredith wished with all her heart she could believe the words she was saying, but the doctor in her was giving her doubts. "And your Dad will be ok, too. Don't you worry. Just focus on getting better." Meredith kissed her forehead and said she would be back, that she was going to check on Evelyn and Derek. She paused in the doorway on her way out and turned back to her daughter.

"Zoe, I'm sorry I missed you game." Meredith apologized. Zoe shrugged.

"It's ok. You can make it up to me later." She grinned.

_Oh, Sweetheart, I wish I could…_

* * *

"How is he doing?" Meredith asked Owen. It was unnerving to see her husband of sixteen years, her protector, her best friend lying in a hospital bed. Usually it was her in the hospital bed and he was being the strong one, her knight in shining whatever. She didn't know how he did it.

"He's ok. The gash on his head was pretty deep and he has a concussion. We're going to watch him and see how his brain is doing after all this."

Meredith nodded and reached for Derek's hand. She would give anything to feel his strong, comforting grasp right now. "You'll page me when he wakes up?"

"Of course."

"Thank you, Owen."

"Hang in there, Meredith. Your family has got more fight in them than any I've ever seen. They'll be ok."

"I hope so." Meredith whispered, feeling the tears well up. Owen looked like he was going to try and say something comforting but Meredith blinked away the tears and shook her head. "I'm fine." She couldn't afford to loose it again. "I'm just going to look in on Evelyn."

Meredith found Evelyn's room and Alex waiting for her just outside of it.

"How's my baby, Alex? Please tell me she's ok."

"So far, she's stable. We got the bleeding under control, but she did loose a lot of it. Right now we just need to monitor her."

Meredith let out a sigh. "That's exactly what Owen said about Derek. 'We just need to monitor.'"

"Mer, you look exhausted. Maybe you should rest in an on-call room or something." Alex suggested.

"No, I'm fine. I need to be here if Derek or Evelyn wakes up. "

"Have you heard anything about Greyson?" Alex asked.

"No… nothing yet."

* * *

"Where's my mom?" Zoe asked Callie. They were getting her ready for her surgery and Meredith wasn't there.

"I'm not sure. I paged her for you, but –"

"I'm here." Meredith ran down the hall and caught up with Zoe and Callie. "I'm right here, Baby. I'm sorry." She squeezed Zoe's hand. "Are you ok?"

"I'm scared." Zoe whispered. She sounded like a little girl again. Meredith kissed her hand and tried to smile calmly.

"You are going to be just fine. Dr. Torrez is a really good surgeon. She'll fix your leg and I'll be waiting right here for you when you come out."

"I love you, Mom." Zoe was still scared. Meredith could hear it in her voice, but she didn't know what else she could do to banish it.

"I love you so much, Zoe Christine. I'll be waiting right here for you." Meredith let her go and stood there alone in the empty hallway. She didn't try to stop the tears this time. She was scared out of her mind, just like Zoe. First Greyson had gone in, now Zoe was about to have surgery as well. As much as she respected and trusted her colleagues, these were her kids that were being operated on. She knew things could go wrong in any surgery.

"Meredith?"

She turned to see Izzie standing behind her.

"Greyson has been in surgery …for hours and I haven't heard …anything." Meredith managed to say in between sobs. "Now they took Zoe… and I don't think …I can handle this anymore."

"Mer…"

"I can't do this!... I can't think straight! All I do is worry and …it's too hard! It hurts too much!"

"Meredith…" Izzie took a few steps toward her hysterical friend. Meredith was starting to hyperventilate and Izzie was too late to realize that Meredith was on the verge of passing out. She hit the floor and Izzie, a second too late, knelt down next to her unconscious form.

"Meredith!" Izzie scanned the hallway for anyone. "I need help!"

* * *

**Please review if you want to read more!! **


	7. Stay With Me

**review please!**

**

* * *

Chapter seven – Stay with me**

"Yang, get a crash cart!" Alex ordered as Evelyn Shepherd went into cardiac arrest again. Christina stood frozen in the doorway. "Yang!"

Christina jumped into motion and pulled a crash cart into the room. Alex grabbed the paddles and ordered someone to charge it. "Clear!"

Christina held her breath. No change.

"Not again, Evelyn! Come on." Alex ordered another charge and did it again. Still no change.

"She's lost too much blood." an intern commented. Alex shot him a fierce look.

"I'm not about to let Meredith and Derek's daughter die on my watch! Charge again!"

"But –"

"Charge it!"

Christina watched as little Evelyn Shepherd's body was shocked to life again. She had never felt so huge a relief than when she could hear Evelyn's heart beating again.

"Oh, thank god." Alex mumbled under his breath.

Evelyn's eyes fluttered open. "Alex, she's awake!" Christina exclaimed. She rushed to her side and grabbed her hand. "Hey Ev, its Aunt Christina."

"You gave us a big scare, kiddo." Alex said, still trying to catch his breath from just a moment ago.

Evelyn looked into their familiar faces, still dazed and disoriented, and then drifted back into unconsciousness. Christina squeezed her hand and then left the room with Alex. "She's going to be ok, I think." She said. She and Owen didn't have any kids, but that didn't mean Christina didn't have a soft spot for Meredith kids. If she felt overwhelmed by this, she couldn't even imagine how Meredith was feeling now.

Alex glanced back at Evelyn. They both wanted to believe that Evelyn would be fine, but only time would tell. "Yeah, I think she's going to be fine, too."

* * *

"Get her on a stretcher!" Izzie ordered. "Meredith, can you hear me? Meredith?"

"What's wrong with her?" asked another doctor that had come to help.

"She just passed out in the hall. I think she had an anxiety attack."

"Is she under a lot of stress?" He asked. Izzie let out a cheerless laugh. It wasn't really funny at all, but clearly he had no idea.

"To say she's under a lot of stress would be the biggest understatement of the year." Izzie told him.

"I think she's waking up. Meredith? Can you here me?"

"Iz?" Meredith murmured. "What happened?"

"You passed out. Right here in the hallway. How do you fell?"

"I'm fine, Iz. I'm not the one who you need to be worried about."

Izzie helped Meredith to her feet. "Well, come on. You probably haven't eaten anything in a while. Let's get some food in you. That might help."

"Izzie, you'd be better off helping my family than helping me." Meredith insisted. "I'm fine."

"You are far from being fine, Mer. Not one in your shoes would be. And there are plenty of your friends helping Derek and the kids. Someone has to look out for you."

"Thanks, Iz."

Izzie took Meredith down to the cafeteria and shoved a tray of food in front of her. "You better eat all of it." Izzie warned. Meredith cracked a small smile and started eating. She was silent while she ate.

"You're going to be ok, Mer." Izzie broke the silence. "Just keep hanging in there."

"All I care about is if my family is going to be ok."

"I know."

Meredith's pager went off. She jumped up ad broke into a run.

"Who is it?" Izzie asked.

"Hunt. Derek must be waking up!" Meredith yelled over her shoulder.

She made her way to Derek's room, practically sprinting the whole way. She was exhausted by the time she got there and had to remember she wasn't as young as she used to be. Hunt met her just outside the room.

"Is he awake?" Meredith came right out with it. Owen smiled.

"He is. Go on in and see him."

Meredith opened the door and paused in the doorway. She eyes found Derek's stunning blue eyes. Eyes that she thought she might never see again. Her heart sped up a little and she managed a smile of relief.

"Hey, beautiful." Derek murmured. Meredith could take it any longer. She closed the distance between them until she was practically draped over him on the hospital bed. Then the tears came. Once they started, it forever to stop.

"If you ever pull something like this again…" Meredith said once she'd regained control.

"I know, I know, you'll kill me." Derek teased her gently. Meredith buried her head on his chest.

"I'm just so glad you're ok."

"Hunt said I was in an accident, but I don't remember it at all."

"You hit your head pretty hard." Meredith reasoned. "Besides, it must not be that pleasant of a memory."

"I suppose you're right, I just hate feeling like I'm missing something. I hate that I experienced something and have no recollection of it. It's weird."

"Well you might get it back as your brain heals. You know that. Just give it time." Meredith ran her hand through his hair and leaned in to press a kiss to his brow. "I must say, I've never been more terrified than when you and the kids were brought out of those ambulances. It nearly gave me a heart attack." Meredith noticed Derek making an odd face.

"Kids? Did I hit a car full of kids? Is that what happened?"

"No… a drunk driver hit you and the kids." Meredith explained. She was getting a chill down her spine. Why was this conversation freaking her out?

"What kids? Why did I have kids in my car?" Derek was genuinely confused. How much of his memory was he missing?

"Because… You… Derek, you were in the car with our kids."

"Meredith, we don't have any kids." Derek gave her a weird look. "What's going on?"

Meredith back away from him, shaking her head and wanting to run away. "Hunt! Get in here now!" Meredith screamed. Just when she thought this couldn't get any worse…

* * *

Lexie sat in the galley watching Greyson's surgery. Dr. Wyatt, the second best neurosurgeon at Seattle Grace was performing the surgery while Mark stood nearby overseeing it. He had insisted on being in there. After all, he had promised Meredith. They were stitching Greyson back up so Lexie ran down to meet Mark when he came out. He was just washing up as Lexie entered.

"How is he?" Lexie needed to know.

"It went as well as could be, but we'll still have to see how he responds."

"_Will_ he respond?" Lexie asked, knowing exactly what he was implying.

"There is a chance that Greyson won't wake up from this. He could end up in a coma."

Lexie shook her head, wanting to deny it. "He has to wake up." She whispered.

"Come here, Lexie." Mark wrapped her in a hug. He wasn't looking forward to telling this to Meredith.

* * *

"He doesn't remember our children, Owen!" Meredith yelled for the third time. "Clearly, something is wrong with him so don't tell me he's fine!"

"Meredith, calm down."

"No! I can't stay calm! The four people I love most in the world could die today! I thought I had my husband back –"

"You do. Derek is fine, he just –"

"Don't! Don't say it! He's not fine because Derek, _my_ _Derek_, would never forget his kids. Do you know how excited he was when I told him that I was pregnant with Zoe? He grabbed me and spun me around and around and I nearly lost my lunch all over him, but he didn't care because he was so ready to be a dad. And the first time he held them, he was hooked. You could tell he adored them just by watching him. The first time he held Zoe was fourteen years ago. He has loved them for fourteen years and now you're telling me he can't remember any of them? All those years of telling them bedtime stories, taking them fishing, and cheering them on at their games is all gone? And you think he's fine? Derek is the best dad I know, so don't tell me it's nothing if he can't remember his kids. Find out what's wrong and fix it. Please."

Owen stood mute for a long while before he simply nodded and left Meredith alone. She sank into a chair, no longer able to support herself. Callie appeared and approached her cautiously.

"Please don't tell me more bad news. I don't think I can handle it." Meredith informed her.

"Zoe's surgery went perfectly. Her hip has been relocated and her knee was repaired as much as could be done. I think after some physical therapy, she'll be walking again really soon."

"Thank you, Callie. How soon until I can see her again?"

"She won't wake up for a little while, but you can go sit in her room if you like."

* * *

Zoe consciousness was slowly surfacing. She felt like she was halfway between sleep and wakefulness. There was a beeping sound and a chair creaking. She felt the cool sheets on her body and someone's warm hand in hers. She finally opened her eyes and squinted against the lights in her room. She looked over to see her mom with her head resting on her arms. Zoe couldn't tell is she was sleeping or just resting for a moment. She squeezed Meredith's hand lightly to see if she would respond. Meredith head shot up and her face broke into a smile.

"Hey, Sweetheart!"

"Hi, Mommy."

Meredith stroked her face and kissed her hand and then her cheek and hugged her tightly.

"Ok, mom, that enough!"

"Deal with it." Meredith teased. "I was worried about you."

"Well, how did it go?"

"Callie said she fixed you right up no problem. She said you couldn't have asked for a better surgery. You're going to be ok, kiddo." Meredith felt the tears coming. She bit her lip and tried to blink them back.

"Hey. It's ok, mom. You just said I would be fine."

"I know. I know. And I'm really happy about that. You're the first one out of the woods and it's got me a little emotional about it."

"Aww, mom!" Zoe reached an arm around Meredith. After a moment, she had a pressing question.

"Does this mean everyone else is in really bad shape?"

Meredith took a deep breath. She wasn't sure if she should tell Zoe right away. Could she handle it? Meredith decided she couldn't. Not right now.

"Everyone is fine for now. I meant you're the first one to wake up." It was lie, but in a way, it was also true. The real Derek wasn't awake yet.

They started talking about Zoe's long journey in getting better. Meredith told her there was lots of physical therapy ahead of her.

"When will I be able to play again, mom?"

"What?"

"When will I be able to play soccer again?"

"Zoe, I… After the extent of what happened to you and to your leg, I'm afraid you won't be able to play soccer again."

"Ever?" Zoe asked incredulously. "I won't _ever_ be able to play soccer again?"

"I'm so sorry, Zoe." Meredith murmured.

"No! I'll get better. I'll do as much physical therapy as you want me to. I'll get better!"

"Zoe, your leg will to heal to the point where you'll be able to walk, but you can't keep playing such a competitive sport where you could risk an injury. I –"

"No. No, no, no. You're wrong. I'll just keep doing physical therapy until I can play. I'll be fine."

"Baby –"

"Mom, I can do this! I can do this. I'll be fine. Don't tell me I'm finished with soccer. It's all I've ever wanted to do."

"Zoe, Honey, please. Please listen to what I'm telling you."

"I can't! Because if what you're saying is true, then all my dreams are dead! Everything I've worked hard for is worthless! I was going to play in college. I was going to be great. Now I'm supposed to be happy if I can ever walk again?"

"You will walk. You will probably even run, but I know that's not what you want to hear and I am so sorry this is how it had to end, Baby Girl. You would have been the best damn college player there was, Zoe, because you had so much passion in you."

Zoe finally broke. The anger drained and the grief set in. Meredith held her while she cried over her shattered dreams and the future that no longer seemed so bright. She pulled back and looked up at Meredith with tear fill eyes. "What am I going to do, Mom?"

Meredith wiped the tears from Zoe's face. "You are going to be ok. I'll be here with you the whole time. We'll get through this together, Zoe, I promise. You will find something else that makes you happy and when you do, it'll make loosing soccer a little easier."

* * *

Meredith paced the length of the hallway. Zoe had fallen back to sleep after Meredith told her to rest. She had run down to check on Evelyn. Her poor baby. She had barely seen her since she came into the hospital. Evelyn seemed to be hanging in there. But then there were Greyson and Derek. What was she going to do if her husband never regained his memory? How were the kids supposed to feel about this? And what about her little boy lying in a bed that might become his permanent home? She couldn't bare to think of the possibility of him never waking up, never seeing his mischievous smile or hearing him whisper "I love you" as she tucked him in at night, never seeing him come into the house covered in mud or walking beside Derek with a sparkle in his eye because he was Derek's buddy. He was so lively and active. How could his future possibly be lying in a bed for the rest of his life?

"Stay with me, Baby Boy." Meredith whispered. "This family can't go on without you."

* * *

**Review please!**


	8. Where Do We Go From Here?

**Hey all! sorry this took me so long to update. I've been ridiculously busy! but here it is! Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter eight – where do we go from here?

Christina found Meredith in one of the stairwells, slumped in the corner and looking like she could use a good night's sleep. She looked up and spotted Christina but she didn't move or say anything. Christina took a seat next to her. They had always been each other's support system, starting way back when Christina found out she was pregnant her intern year. Meredith had been the one she confided in. She was her person. That hadn't changed in all the years they had been friends. But Christina was at a loss for how to help her. What was a friend supposed to do in this situation? Christina didn't think much talking would help. What possible magic did words have during a time like this? Instead of offering one of those washed-up phrases people threw around to comfort those going through a tough time, Christina just said one thing.

"I don't know how to help you. I can't possibly understand what you're going through, but if you need anything, just say the word. I'm here. I'm not just saying it to be nice. I'm right here. "

Meredith didn't turn her head or react in any way. Her eyes were glazed over and she seemed to be in a world of her own, but after a while she mumbled three words.

"Thank you, Christina."

Christina nodded. They sat there in silence for what seemed like an eternity.

"It was supposed to be me." Meredith said.

"What?" Christina didn't understand.

"Derek has amnesia. He can't remember anything from the past fourteen years so that means he doesn't know who the kids are. He lost his memory. I was supposed to be the one to loose their memory."

"Because of the Alzheimer's."

"Yeah. I was supposed to be the one to forget the kids, to forget being married, to forget everyone I loved. Derek promised he would remind everyday if that ever happened. I never thought in a million years that it would happen the other way around." Meredith finally turned her head and looked Christina in the eyes. She had a wild look in her eyes, something Christina had never seen in her before. "I don't know what to do. What if he never gets it back? Are we just supposed to start over? What if this changes him and he's not the person the kids and I remember? How are we supposed to live like that? The kids need their father!" The tears she had tried so damn hard to hold back spilled over the edge and rolled down her cheeks. "I need my husband." She whispered. "I can't live without him."

"Meredith…" Christina was at a loss for words. Again.

"Meredith!" Callie came up the stairs. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Zoe's awake. She's been asking for you."

Meredith wiped her eyes and started to stand.

"Meredith, did you slept at all last night?" Christina asked. She was worried that Meredith might need a hospital bed of her own by the end of the day if she kept going like she did.

"No. I couldn't. One of the kids might have needed me. Or Derek. I couldn't sleep while they were depending on me to be there.

Christina didn't say anything. She couldn't yell at Meredith for not getting any sleep. She was just trying to be a good mom and wife. But she did need to know that it was just as important to take care of herself so that she could still be useful to her family. She told Meredith as much, but she just waved it off. "I'll be fine. The sun is up and my daughter needs me."

She was gone, running down the stairs with energy that Christina didn't expect her to have left. But Christina knew she would crash eventually. She had already passed out. There had to be another episode in the near future if she kept this up.

* * *

"Hey, Sweetheart. Did you get enough sleep last night?" Meredith smiled. Her relief was so huge, she almost forgot how exhausted she was.

"I should ask you that. You look like crap, mom." Zoe said bluntly.

"Gee, thanks." In a way, Meredith was comforted by the fact Zoe was acting like herself.

"She's right. When was the last time you slept?" Bailey said as she entered the room behind Meredith.

"Don't worry about me."

"Mom." Zoe said in a tone that sounded so much like Meredith when she was warning one of the kids. Bailey hid a smile.

"I'm fine!"

Zoe and Bailey sent her looks that told Meredith they didn't believe her.

"How's she doing today?" Meredith changed the subject. Bailey sighed. She shouldn't be surprised. She'd known Meredith too long.

"She's doing just fine. The best results you could hope for from her surgery. She'll be out of here and running around, driving you crazy in no time."

"That's excellent." Meredith felt like she could breathe. Zoe's smile was huge. "Your dad was right, you are a tough cookie."

"Kinda like your mom." Bailey added. "And probably just as stubborn too."

Zoe laughed. "You got that right."

"I'll check on Zoe later. Do me a favor, Meredith, and give yourself a rest."

Bailey left, leaving Meredith and Zoe to themselves.

"So you're feeling ok, Zo?"

"Yeah, Mom, I'm ok. How's everyone else?"

Meredith hesitated. "They're… ok."

"Why won't you tell me specifics? I want to know how they are."

Meredith cringed. Why did Zoe have to pick up on things like that?

"I know. I just don't want to upset you."

"Oh my god. It's bad isn't it? Are they dead?"

"No! No, no, no, no! Geez, baby, don't panic."

"Well, you make it sound like it's something unimaginable. What was I supposed to think if you never tell me?" Zoe took a deep breath. "So no one is dead?"

"No, baby, your dad and your siblings are still alive. Evelyn's doing ok, but she got pretty banged up. She fighting though, like she always does. And your dad… well… it's nothing life threatening, but let's just say he's… not himself right now."

"Ok, well that's I guess that's good news. What about Grey?"

Meredith bit her lip to try and stop the sob rising up in her throat. She would have thought all her tears would have been cried out already but she felt the all-too-familiar feel of cloudy vision.

"Mom, is he ok?" Zoe asked frantically.

"To be honest, I don't know, Baby. He… He hit his head very hard in the accident. Your Uncle Mark did everything he could but... we're not sure if he'll ever wake up."

"Oh my god…" Zoe started to cry. Meredith climbed onto the bed next to her and held her. She hated watching Zoe suffer. She wished there was some way she could have shielded her from this, but Zoe deserved to know the truth. Things weren't going so good and Meredith didn't see things getting better for a very long time.

* * *

Owen found Bailey in the hallway outside Zoe's room. "Hey, Dr. Bailey, have you seen Meredith?"

"I know where she is, but don't you dare bug her." She warned.

Owen looked into Zoe's room where Bailey was staring. Meredith lying next to Zoe, both sound asleep, exhausted from everything from crying to worrying.

"That's got to be the first time she's closed her eyes since they came in. And she was already finishing up a 24 hour shift before that." Bailey said.

"I was just coming up to see if she wanted to talk with Derek, try and jog his memory. He's made no progress since he woke up last night."

There was a heavy silence between the two as Bailey took in this news.

"It's a shame what's happened to this family. I remember when Meredith was a scared intern with so many issues piling up around her she could barely function. She finally found happiness when that girl was born. Now the very people that have given her life meaning are victims of a careless man's mistake. This family will never be the same. Especially if that sweet boy never opens his eyes."

Owen nodded in agreement. "If you haven't heard, the man came in last night and was treated. He's fine, but the cops arrived. He's going away for a long time. "

* * *

Christina entered Evelyn's room and looked at her chart. She put it down and started to turn away when she noticed Evelyn had opened her eyes.

"Hey, Evelyn."

"Aunt Christina, where is my mommy?" Evelyn wanted to know.

"She's… I think she's with your sister."

Evelyn's little eyes filled with tears. "Can you go get her?" She begged. "I want my mommy."

"Of course I can. I'll be right back." Christina had never been strong enough to tell Evelyn 'no' to anything. There was just something about that cute, little face. Not to mention when she added tears, Christina was practically putty in her hands.

* * *

Meredith was awake now, after resting with Zoe for two hours. It was enough to give her energy to make it through the next few hours. Christina had paged her so she told Zoe she was going to run down and see Evelyn.

"Can I go see Dad?" Zoe asked.

"No, you need to stay here and rest." Meredith insisted.

"Mom, I don't want to stay here anymore. I'm sick of this room. Plus, I'm dying to see Dad. If not him, than can I come with to see Evelyn?"

"No." Meredith said firmly. "Stay in bed. Be good. You're in no shape to so much as move that leg an inch."

"You're exaggerating."

"Maybe. But you see my point."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll go crazy staring at the same four walls while you're off having fun."

Meredith had several responses jump to mind when Zoe referred to her having 'fun', but she decided not against them. "I'll be back later, kiddo. I love you."

She was gone. After a while Bailey came into her room. "How are you feeling, Zoe?"

"I'm feeling great." Zoe said with a smile on her face. Bailey narrowed her eyes in Zoe's direction.

"You just had surgery on your leg and you're feeling great?"

"Yep. Perfect. So I think it would be fine if I went to go see my dad, right?"

Bailey let out a laugh but Zoe could tell it was sarcastic. "Yeah right. You get surgery and then immediately want to get up and go. You're just like you're mom, you know that? Just sit back and rest. Recovery is a process, Zoe."

Bailey left the room and Zoe was once again alone. She sat there contemplating Bailey's words. She was right, of course. And her mom had been right. She needed to rest. Or….

Zoe spotted the wheelchair near the bed. She couldn't reach it, but if she could balance on her good leg and hop over there, she could take herself to see her dad while keeping her bad leg at rest. The only problem was not getting caught.

Zoe wheeled herself into the hallway and checked for Dr. Bailey or any other doctor that might stop and question her. With the coast clear, Zoe headed for Derek's room.

* * *

**Do you want to see what happens next? PLEASE REVIEW!!! they inspire me!**


	9. Author's note

To my readers,

I'm sorry for such a long break from the story. It's been one distraction after another and right now I don't have a computer of my own since mine died and I lost all my files. So now I will have to start from scratch with the next updates, which were almost done I'm sad to say. I hate to make you wait even longer but wanted to let you know that I haven't abandoned the story and will be back to it as soon as possible. Thank you.


	10. Don't Give Up

**Ok guys, I know this too a LONG time to get this posted, but as soon as my new computer was up and running, I pounded this out as quick as I could. I hope you guys like it. I put a lot of work into this. Enjoy! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**

* * *

Chapter Nine

The elevator doors opened and Zoe let out a breath of relief when she didn't encounter any familiar faces. So far, so good. Wheeling herself out and into the hallway, she began the slow process of manually glancing in each room for her father. She knew he was on this floor because she had heard some nurse say it. Her family had been the gossip of the hospital since they arrived. Every time someone walked passed her room, she could hear people whispering about her and her family. Unfortunately, she never heard what she wanted to know: exactly how everyone was faring from the accident. After making it down one hallway and another half, Zoe had been unsuccessful and getting tired already. She began to ponder if leaving her hospital bed right after surgery was such a wise idea in her part, but she was too stubborn to turn around once she set her mind to something.

Down the hall, Zoe saw Dr. Hunt emerge from a room and she quickly ducked into the nearest patient's room for safety. There she found a little old lady propped up in one of the beds with a puzzled expression. "Do I know you, dear?"

Zoe gave a flustered smile. "No. I must have the wrong room. Sorry for the barge in."

The old lady smiled kindly, but still gave Zoe an odd look like she didn't trust the girl. Zoe glanced out before returning to the hall. There was no sign of Hunt wherever he had gone. She continued, remembering the room he had just come from, knowing it was probably her dad's. She was met with the familiar sight of her dad and an overwhelming satisfaction with her task. She grabbed the wheels of the chair and propelling herself forward.

"Hey you." She called out as she entered, a big smile lighting her face. Derek turned to see who his visitor was and smiled kindly at her in a way that reminded Zoe of the old lady for some reason.

"Hello." He said with just a hint of confusion in his voice. Zoe continued forward. Derek was sitting on a bed looking none too worse for wear. He certainly looked better than Zoe felt after her surgery. Her leg was starting to bug her and she began to rethink her sneaky little plan yet again. But she had found her dad and fully intended to spend a good amount of time with him before she got caught or he sent her back to her room.

"That car accident really banged you up, didn't it?" Zoe commented. A light when on in Derek's brain. The car crash. This girl must have been part of it somehow. he was still fuzzy on the details, but from what he could gather from the bits of information Meredith and Owen had told him, a drunk driver had hit his car and a car full of teenagers. Yes, this girl must have been one of them. It made sense. Derek just wasn't sure at what point he had met her. Maybe he had helped with the passengers until the ambulances arrived or something along those lines. Derek decided that was enough thoughts on the accident for now. Trying to straighten out all of the details was making his head hurt.

"So what happened to you? That leg looks pretty painful."

Zoe nodded and launched into the story of the surgery and the physical therapy that was to come. Derek listened with interest, finding the girl remarkably strong for making it through all this. It was a quality that reminded him of his Meredith. He was about to ask the girl for her name, just realizing he had forgotten to do that earlier, but Owen Hunt walked in and Derek watched his expression turn to shock and panic.

"Zoe!"

Zoe's head snapped behind her, but it took a little longer before she could get the wheelchair turned. She smiled weakly at him, knowing she was in trouble for sure if this got back to her mom. Owen's mouth hung open, not sure what to say, but he hurriedly rushed to her and grabbed the handles on the back of her wheelchair and pushing her out of the room as fast as he could. "I'm sorry Derek, but she needs to return to her room. Come on, Zoe, lets go. You can socialize later." Owen walked and talked so fast, Zoe didn't even have to say goodbye to her dad. She simply glanced behind for one quick last look at her dad before she was out on the hallway and parked in front of the elevator. Owen pushed the button to go up and then turned to her. "Can I trust you to get back to your room or do I need to escort you all the way?" He snapped. Zoe had never in all her life seen him like this, so flustered, stressed, and frightened.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Owen. I'll go straight to my floor."

Owen nodded and massaged his forehead with his thumb and index fingers. He had nearly freaked seeing Zoe in the room with Derek. He and Meredith had decided it would be best for them not to know just yet. In case he got his memory back right away and no damage was done. "You need rest, Zoe. You've been through a lot." Owen muttered.

"Everyone's been saying that." Zoe said a little disgruntled. Owen had to laugh a little at this.

"Maybe there's a reason for that, huh kid?" He said this kindly, letting Zoe know he wasn't mad at her. Even if she had given him the panic of a lifetime. Zoe smiled, knowing he was right and so was everyone else. The elevator doors opened and Zoe got in. Owen turned and headed back to Derek's room.

When he reached it, Derek turned and smiled. "She was nice. Is she going to be ok?"

"Physically, yes, but she's got a lot to deal with outside of her injuries, poor kid." Owen murmured. Derek nodded solemnly.

"Tell me again what happened yesterday." Derek said. Owen took a deep breath and hesitated.

"There was a car crash. A drunk driver t-boned your car and it flipped."

"Yeah I got that part, but what about the kids?" Derek asked, needing to get this whole thing straight. Owen's eyes widened.

"Do you remember the kids?" Owen asked hopefully. "At all?"

"No. Everything is still blank in my mind. I just want to know when I met that girl and how she got so injured. Did I hit her car after the man hit mine?"

"No, Derek." Owen said, a bit dejected. Then he hesitated. "Actually yeah, I think that is what happened. Your car slammed into hers from the force of the impact." Derek took this information in stride.

"Ok, so now its my turn to ask some questions about how you are feeling today." Owen continued.

Around the corner, tucked away where she couldn't be seen, Zoe had concealed herself and eavesdropped on Derek and Owen's conversation. With the confusing truth of the matter setting in, Zoe felt a pain in her heart so deep, she didn't think she'd ever felt this hurt. Was it true he didn't remember her at all? With a brain flooded with questions and concerns, Zoe slowly returned to her floor, found her room, and laid down in bed, turning her back to the door where her tears could fall freely and unashamedly.

* * *

Lexie rounded the corner and found Meredith sitting on Evelyn's bed wit the little girl snuggled up to Mer's side. Evelyn still looked battered and weak, but she was hanging on. Lexie smiled at her little niece and asked how she felt.

"I'm tired." Evelyn said faintly, her drooping eyelids giving evidence to this as she fought off sleep. Meredith stroked her hair and leaned down to press a kiss to the girl's head.

"Rest for a minute, Baby. Mommy has to talk to Aunt Lexie." Meredith slowly got up and walked out of the room with her sister.

"How's Greyson?" Meredith asked.

"I was just going to ask you that. Have you gone to see him once since his surgery?"

Meredith shook her head slowly. "I've been a little busy between Derek and the girls."

Lexie let out a sigh. "He needs you just as much as the others do, Mer, even if he can't open his eyes and tell you that. You know as much as I do that the sound of a loved one's voice can be enough to bring someone out of their coma."

Meredith rubbed her weary eyes and didn't answer. Lexie shot her a look. "What the hell is wrong with you? Your son is laying in a bed and you can't go spend five minutes at his bedside?" Lexie paused, but Meredith didn't respond or even look at her. "I know this is hard, ok? I can't even imagine how I would handle this, but I do know that I have been the one sitting by Greyson, wondering when you were going to come and what in the world could possibly keep you from running to that boy the moment you had the chance."

"You want to know what's holding me back?" Meredith finally snapped. "You want to know what's keeping me from my son? Its his coma. His drunk-driver-hitting-the-car-and-changing-his-life-forever stupid coma! I can't go up there and sit next to his bed, knowing that I never realized the last time I saw him awake was going to really be the last time. He's Greyson! Greyson George Shepherd! He's sweet and happy, mischievous and energetic, and he's one of four people that make up my whole world. How am I supposed to live if he can't be in it? I can't go see him if I know that he is going to be laying there as unmoving and still as a dead person for the rest of his life. _That_ wouldn't be Greyson George Shepherd." Meredith wiped the tears from her eyes. Lexie pulled her big sister into a hug.

"He's not hopeless, Meredith, not yet. The Greyson we know is still in there. When he wakes up - and I'm sure he will - he's going to want to know why his mom who loves him more than life isn't there. Go see him so he knows you haven't given up on him. Come on, I'll walk you up there."

* * *

"Hey Zoe." Izzie popped her head into Zoe's room. The girl was sitting in her bed and it seemed like the perfect time for a visit. "Some people are here to see you."

Zoe wanted nothing more than to be completely alone right now, but before she could say so, three figures filled the doorway. Zoe offered a weak smile. "Hey guys."

"Hey Zo!" Natalie Sloan came springing into the room and jumped onto the bed, very careful of her cousin's leg, although any observer would have been nervous for a moment since she seemed so reckless. She was the spitting image of her mother and an interesting mix of both in character.

Theoren and George Karev entered a bit more calmly, although equally excited to see their friend was ok. Theoren smiled hugely when he saw her. "How ya doing, buddy?" He had blond hair like his mother and her same eyes, but his facial structure mirrored Alex. He was big and athletic, having a love of sports in common with Zoe. George looked even more like Alex than Theoren did, except he was a lot smaller and didn't find sports at all interesting. He was quieter and more serious. No one was sure where he got that from.

"I'm hangin in there." Zoe responded. "The leg hurts a little but its not bad."

The three stayed a while to chat with their friend, all feeling better after having seen Zoe and could now tell themselves she was fine. The problem was Zoe's inner turmoil and she had no idea who to talk to about it. She hadn't seem her mother in hours.

* * *

Meredith stood in the doorway of Greyson's room. There he was, head bandaged and eyes closed, his body completely still. There was her baby boy.

"Mommy!" She could practically hear his voice. She could see his face as a spunky five-year-old running up to her. "Mommy, look! I found a frog!" And there he displayed a muddy little frog. The very discovery lit up his features and she melted over the sight of his new smile with the top front tooth missing.

She could feel him snuggling up to her in the middle of the night when the thunder was so loud, it shook the house. "I wanted you not to be scared by the storm, Mommy." He had lied in his innocent little way. "So I came to cuddle with you." She would wrap her arms around his small little form and kiss her little 'protector' goodnight.

He was eight and he was climbing the tree in the backyard, getting higher and higher, testing himself. She warned her little daredevil to be careful. She watched in horror as he fell to the ground. Her heart practically stopped in her chest. In the ER, his broken arm was set and put in a cast by Callie. "So, does this mean I get out of doing my homework?" He had asked in his boyish way, full of charm and cuteness.

She watched him as a confident ten-year-old shove a younger boy away from Evelyn at the park. "That's_ my_ sister you're messing with!" Even as she scolded him for being aggressive, she couldn't help feeling proud. He was such a good big brother.

Last week, He came to say goodnight to her. He put his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek. "I love you, Mom." He had whispered. He flashed that sweet smile of his. She loved that smile.

Meredith felt Lexie's hand on her back and it brought her out of her reverie.

"Go on, Mer."

She walked in and seated herself in the chair next to his bedside. She reached for his hand. Meredith wasn't sure what to say to her unconscious boy. She had the strong urge to run her hand through his unkempt hair, but it had been shaved off for the surgery and his head was wrapped in bandages.

"When I said you needed a haircut, I didn't mean like this." She whispered to him. A tear spilled over and ran down her cheek. "Listen, bubba, I know you've just went through a lot, but you can't leave yet. I still need you in my life. So does your Dad and Evelyn. Zoe does too, even if she doesn't act like it sometimes. We all love you, Grey." She brought his hand to her cheek and held it there. "And I don't think I can keep living if you're not there. You've changed my life, Baby Boy. I can't go back to the way things were before you came into my life. I need you to be there when Evelyn gets bullied or when Zoe needs her partner in crime. You're Daddy's right hand man. How is he going to manage without you by his side? And what about me, Grey? I haven't told you much about my past because you were always too young to hear it, but I've had some dark moments. I don't deal well with death. And if I lost you…"

Meredith stumbled over the sentence and broke down. She gripped his hand tighter as the sobs shook her frame. She had completely forgotten Lexie's presence again, who was now in the corner wiping her own tears from her eyes. Meredith struggled to get her breathing under control and back to normal.

"You… still have so…" Meredith tried to speak between sobs. "…so much do with your life. You have to… live it. Don't give up. Do you hear me? Don't give up! Wake up. Just open your eyes. Open your eyes, Grey!" Meredith breathed heavily and waited for a sign of life in her seemingly lifeless son. Nothing.

"I love you, Grey. So much." She kissed his hand. "I love you."

* * *

"Hey, Zoe." Callie popped her head into Zoe's room. "I came to check up on you. Any pain?"

Yes. There was a lot of pain, but not in her leg. "Nope." Zoe plastered a fake smile on. "Pain killers are wonderful."

Callie laughed. "Alright, well if you need anything, have one of the nurses page me, but otherwise, you seem to be doing great, kid."

When she was gone, Zoe returned to her thoughts. She was developing a plan she hoped would work. There really wasn't much to it, but she felt she needed to do something and this was the only thing she could think of that might do something.

She struggled into the wheelchair and let out a groan of pain as she did. It wasn't easy on her leg, that was for sure. She paused a moment until her leg wasn't throbbing so much. She really should listen to these doctors one of these days, but today wasn't one of them. Out of her room, she wheeled herself down the hallway to the elevator. One of the nurses spotted her.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked with a smile but was a little concerned.

"Oh, well, Dr. Torres just stopped by my room and I asked her if it was alright if I go down and see my little sister. She said it was fine as long as I stay in this chair." Zoe was a little too good at lying. The nurse walked over to another nurse on the floor.

"Did Dr. Torres visit Zoe Shepherd?" She asked

"Yes, just a little while ago. Why?"

"No reason."

Zoe waited for the elevator doors to open onto her dad's floor and when they did, she quickly scanned for Owen Hunt. No sign of him was a good sign. As quickly as her arms could turn the wheels, she raced down the hall to her dad's room. There he was sitting up in his bed, looking out the window with a serene look on his face. He heard her enter and smiled at her. It wasn't the smile she was used to. It didn't have the same feeling of love as it normally did. That was a smile he saved for people he didn't know. Zoe swallowed the lump on her throat.

"I need you to listen." She said seriously. "You're not going to believe what I tell you, but its the truth. So just listen. You're my dad. You were in a car crash with me and lost all your memories from the last fourteen years so you don't remember me, but I'm your daughter. Got it? You remember my mom, right? Meredith Grey." Zoe watched his face carefully. He looked so lost. So unlike the man she knew. "Well, when you were first married, you did it on a post-it note. A blue post-it note that hangs on the wall of your bedroom." He didn't look that convinced. He still was trying to figure out if he believed her. "Ok," She continued. "When I was born, you told me once that it was the best day of your life because you had wanted to be a dad for so long and it finally happened with the woman you loved more than anything." Zoe was crying now. "You _have_ to remember this." Derek was speechless. He tried to think of words to say but none would come out. Who was this girl? True, she bore a string resemblance to Meredith, but was that enough to make what she was saying true? Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Owen enter.

"Zoe, what are you doing?" He exclaimed, rushing behind her and grabbing the handles on the wheelchair. In a moment of sheer panic, Zoe clamped her hands down hard on the wheels so they wouldn't move, no matter how hard Owen tried to move her. "No! I have to finish! Let me finish!" Her eyes flashed frantically to Derek. "I'm your daughter! You said you would always be there to get me through whatever life tossed my way. You said you loved me! You can't have forgotten me so easily! You called me your tough cookie! I'm your princess, your ladybug!" Zoe cried hysterically, listing off all the fond nicknames she could think of. "I'm _your_ Zoe!"

"Zoe, enough." Owen said sympathetically. "You can't fix this." He began trying to release her grasp on the wheels. "He doesn't remember." Owen whispered. Zoe kept her eyes fixed on Derek, hoping he would jump in and deny what Owen was saying, but he was silent, stunned, and stupefied. "Come on, lets go." Owen yanked the chair backwards and stared to push her out of the room, but Zoe lost it and started to scream.

"No! I have to stay! I have to stay until he remembers! No, Owen, stop! Stop! Daddy!" Zoe kicked her good leg out in front of the door jam and held it there to prevent Owen from getting her out of the room.

"Zoe, stop acting like this." Owen yelled. He looked up to see a nurse watching the scene. "Page Dr. Grey-Shepherd." He ordered.

"No, let me go! Leave me be! I need to help him!"

Owen knelt in front of her. "Zoe, let it go. You need to go back to your room and rest. Your father needs to rest."

"No! He needs _me_!" With Owen kneeling in front of the door, Zoe quickly wheeled herself backwards towards Derek and spun around to face him.

"You have to know me. You've known me all my life. You held me when I fell and skinned my knee. You taught me how to ride a bike. You took me to see my first movie. You cheered me on at every soccer game. You told me I was beautiful when I felt like my new braces made me hideous. You stayed up for hours with me one time helping me study for that stupid science exam. I got an A and you told me you were proud." Zoe wiped the tears from her eyes and saw tears in his own eyes. Did he remember? She stared at him in earnest, waiting for him to jump and say he knew who she was. He didn't say anything. Owen felt his heart sink and grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and started to get the poor weeping girl out of the room.

"You love me." Zoe whispered to him. "I'm your Zoe."

With Owen pushing her out of the room, Zoe was turned away her father and continued to weep over her breaking heart.

"Zoe Christine Shepherd."

Zoe's hands shot out to stop the wheels and her heart skipped a beat. She spun around and pushed Owen out of the way. Her eyes, brimming with tears and hope, sought Derek's.

"You're Zoe Christine Shepherd." Derek smiled and a sob tore from Zoe's throat. She knew that smile. "You're my girl and I do love you, more than I can express by human means."

"Daddy!" Zoe's arms worked furiously to get her over to Derek as fast as she could. Derek threw his legs over the side of the bed and bent to embrace her. Zoe buried her head in his chest and wept long and hard, let relief fill her as she savored the feeling of being with her dad. Derek stroked her hair and kissed her. "I'm so sorry, Honey. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Zoe smiled at the warmth and sincerity in his voice. "You're back. I missed you."

Derek held her face in his hands and wiped the tears from her face. "I'll put you through that again, I promise."

"It's not your fault, Dad. You came back, that's all that matters." She rested her head against him once more, not wanting to move for anything in all the world. Owen silently excused himself out of the room. This moment was a private one to be shared my father and daughter.

* * *

Hours later, Derek was alone in his room. Zoe was taking away by Dr, Torres who claimed the poor girl was physically and emotionally worn out. He had spent some time with Meredith also, but he hadn't seen Evelyn yet. He heart was breaking for Grey. He had taken a hard blow from hearing that news. He still felt the pain all these hours later from hearing about it. He couldn't help blaming himself. There must have been some way to see the other driver coming. If he had just had enough time to see the other car, maybe he and the kids wouldn't be here now.

A knock on the door broke through his thoughts. It was Meredith. "I got a surprise for you." She said and moved out of the doorway. Alex came in carrying Evelyn. She looked pitifully beaten up and He had the same feeling he did when Evelyn was born, like his little girl was hurting and he could do nothing to save her from it. "Come here, Baby." Derek said, motioning Alex to lay her on the bed with him. Evelyn snuggled into Derek's side, pillowing her head on Derek's chest.

"Hi, Daddy." She said quietly.

"Hey, Tiny Girl. How are you feeling?" He asked in a soft voice, reserved only for his girls. He kissed her brow.

"I'm really tired." Was her normal response. The pain killers were really doing their job on her, making the child free of pain but always drowsy.

"Well, you can sleep here with me if you want, Peanut." Derek told her, watching her eyelids already start to droop.

"She's not your only visitor, you know." Meredith said. Derek looked up to see Zoe again.

"Get over here, kiddo." Derek told her. Zoe wheeled herself to his bedside, looking like she had slept soundly. He reached over and framed her face with one hand. "Feeling better, Ladybug?"

"Yeah." She said with a smile. Meredith came closer then and seated herself on the edge of the bed and squeezed Zoe's hand. Derek eyes met her and she knew what question they were silently asking. He wanted to know if there had been any change with Greyson. Meredith sadly, slowly shook her head. He nodded and tried to put it from his mind as he spent time with his girls, but both Meredith and Derek were aware of the gaping hole in their family time and both began to wonder the same thing. Was this all their family would be now? Just them and the two girls? Neither liked the feeling they got when they thought of it. Life couldn't go on without Greyson. Their family wouldn't survive if he didn't.

* * *

**Ok, what do you think? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**


	11. Life Keeps On Going

**Ok, so I took time out of writing a very important paper to write this instead so PLEASE REVIEW!!!! Thank you :)**

* * *

Chapter Ten – Life keeps on going

**One Week Later**

Meredith entered Evelyn's room with a big smile on her face, followed by one of the nurses. "Are you ready to go home today?"

Evelyn, who had recovered very quickly and was looking much better each day, returned her mother's smile with one of her own and nodded her head vigorously. "Yes!"

Meredith got Evelyn ready and went through the process of getting her released from the hospital. Finally, she had her baby with her for good. No more long hospital visits. She could take her home, worry-free. Meredith had Evelyn's small hand in her own as they started to walk towards the front exit of the hospital. Evelyn eye's met Derek's, who was standing near the door waiting for them, and her hand let go of Meredith's as she took off running to her dad. _Well, that's a sign of a healthy girl, _Meredith thought as she watched her little girl practically sprint 20 feet before being swung up into Derek's arms. The sight of them melted her heart and put a smile on her face. By the time she reached them, Evelyn had been put back on feet, but her arms were wrapped around Derek's waist and her head rested on his side while he kept one arm around her shoulders.

"Alright, lets go!" Meredith said excitedly, motioning her hand towards the door and coming around Evelyn's other side to take up one of her hands again. The three of them walked out to Meredith's car and started to drive home. She and Derek had yet to go car shopping to replace the family van. They had been a little preoccupied with making sure the kids were healing and getting everything they needed.

They arrived home and got Evelyn settled. Meredith and Derek had spent little time at home themselves, only stopping by for fresh clothes and other necessities.

"What do you want for lunch, Pumpkin?" Meredith asked, pulling Evelyn onto her lap and kissing her cheek.

"Mac n' Cheese!" The girl exclaimed, ready to eat 'real food' again. A week's worth of hospital food had been too much for her. Meredith laughed and agreed to make Evelyn what her heart desired. She met Derek in the kitchen. He was lacing his shoes, getting ready to leave. They had agreed that Evelyn's first day back should mean she didn't have to stay at the hospital visiting her siblings, but that one of them should go back to be with Zoe and Grey while the other stayed with Evelyn. Derek had wanted to go. A part of him still felt like he needed to make up for the pain he had inadvertently caused Zoe.

"Call me if you're going to stay the night at the hospital." Meredith said before kissing him goodbye.

"I'll call no matter what so that Zoe can say goodnight to you and Evelyn." He said. Meredith buried her head in the crook of his neck and whispered 'thank you'. They held each other a little longer than normal before releasing their grasp.

"I'll go say goodbye to Evelyn." Derek said, heading into the living room where his little girl played.

* * *

"I'm going to say the winning is…. The End of the World."

"Yes!" Zoe shouted, swiping the green card from the center and adding it to her pile. Natalie let out an exasperated groan.

"No, you should have picked Ghandi!" She yelled at Theoren. "It was perfect."

Theoren just shrugged, not at all wavering. Their game of Apples to Apples always got intense since they all had strong opinions and a competitive side. Zoe smiled and held out her green cards for display. "Looks like I'm winning." She gloated.

"You know, they say the words on your green cards describe who you are." Theoren said. Zoe observed her cards and laughed.

"Well, if that's true, I'm twisted, slimy, outrageous, hostile, and peaceful."

"Sounds about right." Natalie teased.

"The last two kinda cancel each other out." Theoren said. "So you're just twisted, slimy and outrageous."

"Real nice, guys." Zoe said, pretending to be offended.

Derek walked in and found the three friends laughing and goofing off. Not wanting to interrupt, he quickly backed out before they noticed his presence. It was good to see Zoe having a little fun amidst all the worry surrounding their family. He turned and began to walk the other way.

He arrived at Greyson's room. He just stared at him for a moment, hoping with every fiber of his being that at any moment, Grey would open his eyes and be fine. But it had been a week and still no change. He sighed a little and entered, dropping himself into the chair beside Grey's motionless form. Derek rubbed his eyes and felt the weight of his pain and anxiety draining him completely. He reached for Greyson's hand.

"I'm so sorry, Bub." Derek murmured for what must have been the thousandth time. "I wish I could have done something – anything – differently so that you wouldn't be here right now. If I had seen the car coming… seen that it wasn't slowing down…"

Derek dropped his head, giving into the tears he felt forming. "I miss you, Bubba. Evelyn came home today and soon Zoe will be going home, too. But we're still waiting on you. We need you to wake up so we can be a family again."

Derek studied Greyson's face. He looked so peaceful, serene. "We are supposed to be fishing right now. You, me, and your buddy George. I was really looking forward to that. Just some good old male bonding time without your mom or sisters." He patted Greyson's hand and placed it back on the bed gently. "I don't know how many times your mom and I will have to talk to you like this, but you better believe if it helps you wake up, we'll keep coming. We're not giving up on you, Son. So don't give up on us. I love you, Bub."

* * *

"Mommy?"

Meredith turned to see Evelyn in the doorway of her bedroom. Evelyn had been watching a movie in the living room so Meredith had snuck away to read a little in bed. She patted the spot next to her and Evelyn ran in and climbed onto the bed, snuggling up to Meredith's side.

"What's up, Baby?" Meredith smoothed out Evelyn's tangled hair and then began to trace patterns on Evelyn's back. It was something that always calmed her kids down if they were having a bad dream or couldn't sleep because they were sick. Or if they were upset like Meredith could sense Evelyn was right now.

"I miss Greyson." Evelyn murmured so quietly that her mother almost didn't catch it.

"Oh, Sweetheart, I know. I miss him too."

"Is he ever going to wake up?" Evelyn asked. She really had never talked much about Greyson in the past week. She was pretty somber and quiet when they told her, but now that she was home in her parents' bed with her mom, She finally felt free to ask questions.

Meredith had several responses leap to mind. A few were ones that she would have said to patient's families in this situation. Others were honest medical conclusions. But what to say to her eight-year-old? "There's a very good chance he could wake up. Especially if he hears the voices of his family talking to him. That's why Mommy and Daddy go visit him so often."

Evelyn took this in stride. "When's Zoe coming home?"

"Next week, but she'll still be in the wheelchair and she has to go to physical therapy a lot for her leg."

"Can I push her around the house?" Evelyn asked excitedly.

"If she wants you to, sure." Meredith agreed hesitantly. Evelyn giggled and Meredith wondered if she was missing something.

* * *

"Faster! They're going to win!"

Natalie gripped the handles of the wheelchair and willed her feet to move at a quicker pace. Just a few steps ahead of them, Theoren had George in a wheelchair and was speeding down the empty hallway.

They reached the end of the hallway with the boys winning by just a step. Zoe spun and gave Natalie a high five for her efforts. "I have a better idea." Natalie said between breaths. "How about I get in the wheelchair and the brothers face off."

Theoren shot his baby brother a smug look and agreed. George had no choice but to agree or be called a wimp the rest of the day. He stood up and Natalie slid into his vacated spot. Theoren grabbed the handlebars of Zoe's chair and George took Natalie's.

"On your mark, get set, GO!" Zoe shouted. The boys took off. Theoren easily took the lead. He was an athletic boy after all. George did good keeping up the pace though. They were almost to the end of the hall that connected with another when a doctor rounded the corner and both boys quickly halted and pulled on the wheelchairs to stop them. They nearly collided with Dr. Bailey. Zoe was a mere foot away from hitting her. All four froze, eyes wide and mouths open. Dr. Bailey's eyes narrowed.

"What do you fools think you are doing down here? Are you trying to kill someone?" She smacked Theoren over the head with a file, assuming it was his idea. It was Zoe's. "Now get upstairs quickly so I don't tell your parents and don't ever let me catch you four doing this ever again."

They scurried away to the elevator and didn't exhale until the doors closed them in. "That woman scares me to death." George muttered. Normally Theoren would have pounced all over him for saying that, calling him a pansy and such, but this time Theoren was silent because to be honest, she scared him a little too.

They returned to Zoe's floor and encountered Derek as they were about to enter her room.

"There you guys are. I couldn't find you. Where did you go?"

"To the caf. I was starving." Zoe lied easily. Theoren stifled a smile.

"Oh, good. Well, Theoren and George, your dad is downstairs. His shift just ended and he's taking you two home.

"Ok, See ya, Zoe. Bye, Natalie." The brothers turned and walked away down the hall. Derek turned back to the girls.

"I ran by the video store on my way here." He handed them some new DVDs and smiled. "Knock yourselves out."

Natalie snatched the movies and scanned the titles. "Oh! I wanted to see this one in theaters but never did. Zoe, we are watching this one first!" She ran into the room to get it all set up. Derek chuckled as he and Zoe moved into the room as well.

"Thank you, Uncle Derek! You're the best!"

Derek helped Zoe into the bed and got her comfortable before taking a seat on the small couch in the room.

"Scoot." Natalie commanded Zoe. Derek rolled his eyes. Zoe made room for Natalie on the tiny hospital bed and the movie started.

* * *

Meredith's phone went off and she answered it on the second ring. "Hello?"

"Hey, Babe." Derek's voice came in clear on the other line. Meredith smiled.

"Hey. How's Zoe?"

"She's good. Natalie and the boys were here earlier. They seemed like they were having some fun. I've been suffering through chick flicks since dinner." Derek complained. Meredith laughed unsympathetically.

"Does she seem overly tired from all the activity?"

"No, I think she handled it pretty good. She's about to pass out now though, so I'll let you say goodnight to her before she does."

It was silent on the other end for a second and then Zoe's voice came through.

"Mom?"

"Hey, Honey! How are you feeling?"

"Tired…" Meredith could hear it in her voice even if Zoe wouldn't have said it.

"Yeah, I can tell. Did you have a good day?"

"Mhmm."

"I missed you today. Have a goodnight, Hon. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ok, love you Mom."

"Love you too." Meredith waited and soon Derek was back on.

"She is exhausted." Meredith said.

"Yeah, she had a full day. I wish you could see her now. She practically fell asleep with the phone to her ear."

"Are you staying there tonight?" Meredith asked.

"Yes, I told Zoe I would. Sorry to leave you on your own tonight."

"That's ok. Evelyn took your side of the bed."

"Is she awake?" Derek asked hopefully.

"No, she went out pretty fast too."

"Well, good for her." Derek said, hoping he would be able to fall asleep as fast as the girls seemed to be.

"How's Greyson?" Meredith asked softly. Derek sighed.

"No change." He said. Of course, Meredith knew this. If there had been, if he had woken up, Derek surely would have been on the phone with her as quick as possible, telling her the great news.

"Derek?" She asked timidly.

"Yeah, Babe?"

"I've been thinking all week, ever since you were all in the hospital, that maybe….it's time for me to quit." She paused, letting Derek digest this. She realized now that she wished she had told him face-to-face so she could watch his reaction.

"Ok." He said finally, in a way that made her heart sore. She suddenly felt the need to explain herself.

"Its just that when you all were rushed into the hospital, I started to think about all the things I've missed because of my job. I missed Zoe's last soccer game ever." Meredith's voice broke on the last word and she needed a moment to collect herself. "I don't want to miss anything else with our kids."

"Mer, I understand. You don't have to explain yourself to me. I get it. You're making the right choice."

Meredith relaxed and realized just how tired she was. "I wish you were here right now so I could fall asleep in your arms." She murmured softly over the phone.

"The feeling is mutual. This couch in Zoe's room really isn't very comfortable. I don't know how I'll sleep tonight."

"I love you, Derek." Meredith whispered, realizing she couldn't stay on the phone much longer.

"Goodnight, Mer. Love you more."

"Doubt it." She said and hung up before he could challenge her words. Derek chuckled to himself and stretched out uncomfortably for what might be a very long night.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**


	12. Going Through the Motions

**Hey Guys! Sorry, this one took a while to get started on. I kind of put it off for a while. But here it is! *SPOILERS* For those of you who watched the season 7 finale, I was PISSED about Meredith's miscarriage. It was so sad! So when I was writing the Zoe and Meredith scene, all I could think about was how good a mother Meredith has the potential to be on the show. Anyways, thats my little venting for the day :) Please review! **

* * *

Chapter Eleven - Going Through the Motions

**One Month Later**

Meredith glanced out the window and saw Derek pull in the driveway with Zoe riding in the passenger seat. They had finally replaced their second car just in time for summer. She heard the sound of the front door opening and Derek appeared around the corner. Zoe was a little behind him, moving as fast as she could with crutches.

"Hey, Hon. How was physical therapy?"

"Fine." Zoe answered shortly. She headed straight for her room and closed the door behind her. Meredith looked over at Derek and they shared a moment of mutual feelings of being useless in helping Zoe. She had been an emotional wreck from the start, but it didn't help that her team had gone on to win second place in state without her. It was the farthest the girls' team had even gone at their school and Zoe had been just four games short of being a part of it.

"The doctor says she's making a very fast recovery. She's really very impressed with Zoe's improvements." Derek said with a hint of sadness. As glad as they were that Zoe was determined to get better, they couldn't help but notice that anger seemed to be the fuel behind it all.

Evelyn, although she was completely healed now, was acting different also. She was usually such a happy and even tempered child. Now her usual emotion was sadness and she was having outbursts and temper tantrums a few times a week. They knew why. All four of them were struggling with the constant worry over Greyson. Each day that passed was one more day that he couldn't get back while he was in a coma.

Meredith fixed up some food for Zoe's lunch and brought the plate to her door. After a slight knock, she was given permission to enter.

"I brought you some lunch, Baby." Meredith found Zoe sitting her bed. Her bad leg was propped up slightly with a pillow. Zoe was hugging another pillow to her chest, staring at the floor. She looked up at Meredith when she moved over towards her bed. Meredith sat down next to Zoe and handed her the plate.

"Thanks." Zoe mumbled. She set the plate in her lap and didn't touch it.

"How are you doing, Zo?" Meredith tucked a strand of hair behind Zoe's ear.

"Fine."

Meredith shot her a look that said she didn't buy it. Zoe sighed and leaned into Meredith. Mere put her arm around Zoe and held her.

"What's going on inside that head of yours, Babe?"

"I was thinking about Greyson." She whispered. Meredith ran her hand over Zoe's silky hair. It had always seemed to calm her kids down when she did that.

"Yeah. I think about him a lot too." Meredith didn't want to pry. She left her comment at that and waited to see if Zoe would continue.

"He always got on my nerves. Like, every single day. And most days I felt like it was on purpose. We fought about everything. Stupid stuff, serious stuff. Whatever. We never got along. We just weren't the type of brother and sister that would spend quality time together unless we had to." Zoe stopped. She wiped the single tear from under her eye, trying to be discreet. Meredith placed a kiss on the top of her head and then rested hers on top of Zoe's.

"I never appreciated him. I loved him because he was my brother, but I never appreciated him like I appreciate Evelyn."

"Zoe, sometimes siblings just don't get along. When your Aunt Lexie first showed up, I wasn't very nice to her. She just wanted to get to know me and I kept her at a distance. I was jealous of her because she was the one who got to grow up with a loving mother and my absentee father, who apparently was wonderful to her. But she was my sister. I stopped being childish and let her get to know me and now she's one of my closest friends. I know you love Greyson and I know that sometimes you two just want to tear each others throats out. But someday, the two of you are going to grow up and you'll get past the childish fighting and teasing. You'll discover you actually like to talk to each other and hang out. And he knows that you love him."

Zoe nodded. She was silent and Meredith let her be. They sat together, each preoccupied with their own thoughts.

"Hey Zo?" Meredith said after a while.

"Yeah Mom?"

"I'm glad you trust me enough to let me know what's going on with you." Zoe smiled at her mom. She knew that her grandmother and mom hadn't had the best relationship. She was always glad her relationship with her mom wasn't like that.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, Baby?"

"What if Greyson never wakes up? He's been in a coma for so long now."

Meredith took a deep breath and felt it hitch as she tried not to think too hard on that possibility. "I think about that everyday. Each time we sit down for a meal as a family and your brother's seat is empty. Each morning when I don't have to harass him to get out of bed before he misses the bus. I know we're always supposed to stay positive. But I'm a doctor. I know the possibilities of everything not going perfectly. I worry like crazy that I'll never see that mischievous smile again because there is a chance that he might never wake up. And if that happens, I don't know what I'll do."

Zoe felt her mother's grasp tighten on her just a little bit, like she was clinging to the children that she still had left. "I don't know what I'll do, either. I miss him."

"Yeah, me too."

* * *

Derek climbed in the car and shut the door as quietly as possible. After his seat belt, he started the engine and slowly backed out of the driveway. It was late at night. The sky was pitched black with no moon. He had waited until Meredith and the girls had gone to sleep to drive to the hospital. He hadn't visited Grey in a few days and the guilt was riding on him heavily. He didn't stay away on purpose. It was just that the girls came home from the hospital and they all started to heal physically from their injuries and they were forced to move on with their lives, whether they wanted to or not. Even if it meant moving on without Greyson in the picture. It was just the way life was.

Derek walked the halls of his hospital, finally arriving at his son's room. There he was, lying right where Derek had seen him last. His bandage had come off of his head and a little hair had started to come in. Soon enough, it should cover the scar from the surgery.

"Hey, Bubba, it Dad." Derek sat down in the chair by Greyson's bedside. "How ya been, Bub?" He reached for Grey's hand and stared at it, willing it to just all of the sudden squeeze back. Just wake up, Derek wanted to tell him. You can do it. He sat with his son, deciding to spend the night in his room. His shift started in the morning. He would've had to be up before Meredith anyway so he wouldn't have seen her or the girls wither way. "Well, Bub, it's just you and me tonight. But I'm telling you, the girls really miss you…"

Derek continued to make one-sided small talk to the boy lying in a coma next to him. It was all he could do, after all. This had become a twisted new normal and he didn't like it one bit. He wanted his son back so badly. He couldn't put into words just how much he wanted that. He'd told Greyson as much over the past few weeks. However, each day brought no change. Only time would tell if Greyson would ever come back to them.

* * *

**Well, what do you think? PLease Review! Thanks **


	13. Tension

**Hey guys! I honestly meant to post this much sooner, but I got a little distracted, so sorry about that. Anyways, here it is! Enjoy and PLEASE leave a review at the end! Thanks!**

* * *

Chapter Twelve – Tension

"Here, Evelyn. Take this and put it by the cooler." Meredith ordered her youngest. It was almost the end of summer. They had a family camping trip scheduled so they could have quality family time before they had to start getting ready for another school year. It had been planned before the accident. At first, they weren't sure if they were going to go. Greyson was still in the hospital and Derek wanted to stay close in case he woke. Not to mention Zoe was still recovering. She was down to just one crutch but she could manage pretty well without it in most situations since her brace was so big. However, camping with a bad leg wasn't going to be easy and put a bit of a damper on the situation.

Yet Meredith had pushed for the trip to happen. They needed time away from the hospital where bad memories lurked around every corner and down every hallway. They needed a break from the usual routines at home. Mostly, Meredith wanted this trip for the girls so they could relax and maybe find some joy in the little moments. Derek had finally agreed after a little pleading. Evelyn had been excited, but Zoe had been indifferent about it. On their last camping trip, there had been lots of hiking and exploring, swimming in the lake and other typical outdoor adventures. At this point in her recovery, Zoe couldn't do very much. For her, this trip didn't have much to look forward to.

Zoe grabbed a foldable camping chair from the trailer and brought it outside. She opened it up and collapsed into it, not bothering to help at all since they weren't letting her do much to begin with.

"Alright, let's get this fire started." Derek said, grabbing fire wood and starting the process near where Zoe had placed her chair. Zoe didn't respond.

"Daddy?" Evelyn asked in her sweet little voice.

"What, Baby?" Derek asked, not stopping from his work on the fire.

"What's for dinner?"

"I don't know yet. Maybe pizza pies. Does that sound good?"

Evelyn smiled hugely. "Yes, Daddy. Those are my favorite."

"Ok, go run along and see if your mother needs help unloading things."

Evelyn did Derek's bidding and disappeared around the side of the trailer.

"How's the leg feeling right now, Zoe?"

"Fine." Zoe said curtly, staring into the small fire.

"Scale of 1 to 10?"

Zoe sighed at being prodded. "6"

"Ok, not too bad."

"Yeah. Freaking wonderful." Zoe mumbled.

"What was that?" Derek asked.

"Nothing. I wasn't talking to you."

Derek contemplated how to respond, but finally settled with not saying anything yet and seeing how she was feeling later. He tossed a few more logs on the fire.

"Evelyn Grace! Be careful with that." Meredith warned, watching Evelyn pull her _very_ hot pudgy pie maker out of the fire and swing it across, narrowly missing Zoe's chair where Zoe's arm was easily in reach. Zoe glared at her little sister and Evelyn shot Meredith a guilty look and then hurried off to the picnic table where Derek was. Meredith shook her head as she watched her go. Evelyn plunked the pudgy pie maker carelessly onto the picnic table. In the process, it bumped into the pizza sauce can and nearly knocked it over, but Derek quickly grabbed the can and steadied it. "Watch it! Didn't I just hear Mom yelling at you for being careless?" Derek lashed out. "Stop waving these things around and behave." He let his breath out in a frustrated huff. It's not this was Evelyn's first time camping. She knew things could easily burn someone and needed to be handled carefully. He took her pizza pie out for her and put on a paper plate. "Go sit down." He ordered a little harsher than he intended. Evelyn retreated back to the campfire silently. He grabbed his own plate of food and followed her, taking his seat in a chair next to Meredith.

"Did you grab my drink?" Meredith asked as soon as he sat down.

"Damn it." He muttered under his breath, remembering only just now that she had asked him to grab it when he first walked over there. He put his food in his chair and stood back up.

"No, it's fine." Meredith said, sensing his frustration and rising to her feet. "I'll grab it."

"No, I got it. Sit back down." He was irritated but he was already halfway to the picnic table before Meredith could change his mind. Meredith sighed. Zoe had been in a foul mood since they had left the house and now it seemed to be affecting Derek's mood as well.

Derek handed Meredith her drink and sat back down in his chair. They ate in silence for the most part. Zoe was too self-absorbed in her brooding. Evelyn still hadn't forgotten the feeling she got when Derek yelled at her and decided not to give any more reasons to get yelled at by sitting quietly and eating her food. Derek's eyebrows remained furrowed, a sure sign that he was still irritated. Meredith watched her family, struggling to figure out a way to get everyone in a better mood, to feel like a happy family again. Of course, they would never feel completely happy or feel like a complete family. Not without Greyson. Meredith felt the familiar pain in her chest when she thought of her baby boy still in the hospital.

It was growing darker. Meredith noticed the lightning bugs scattered around their campsite. They would light up and then disappear into the dark. "Evy, look at the lightning bugs behind you." She told her daughter.

Evelyn's head turned and once she spotted one, she stood up and chased after it, but she soon lost and found another one to chase. It was an ongoing game of cat and mouse complicated by Evelyn's inability to keep track of one for very long. But she was smiling at least. Meredith was glad about that, knowing that girl would catch one eventually and hold onto it for as long as she could.

Derek got up to put more wood on the fire. He didn't seem to be in too bad of a mood anymore. The only one really upset was Zoe. She'd barely moved from her chair by the fire since they had arrived.

"Zo, do you want to play a game of cards?" Derek offered, trying to find something for the poor girl to do.

"No." Zoe said tersely. She kept her eyes glued to the fire. "I don't even want to be on this stupid trip." Derek shot a look at Meredith as if to say this had been a bad idea from the beginning.

"You could go lie down in the trailer and read." Meredith suggested, trying to help.

"Yeah, that sounds fun." Zoe sneered. "I'll sit around and read this whole week. Great."

"Zoe –" Meredith tried again, but Zoe cut her off.

"Don't. Just leave me alone."

Meredith sent Derek a pleading look for help, but he shrugged his shoulders. A part of him agreed with Zoe. What was the point of this trip? To bond as a family when they weren't even a whole family?

It was awkwardly silent while the three of them sat there, but Evelyn broke the silence when she came running over.

"Mommy, Daddy, look at the bug I caught! I named him –"

Evelyn hadn't been watching her feet and she accidentally kicked over Zoe's can of Dr. Pepper that was on the ground next to Zoe's chair.

"Oh, sorry, Zoe." Evelyn quickly mumbled, feeling her cheeks flush with humiliation. She had already been a klutz several times today. She took a step back when she saw Zoe's livid stare.

"Damn it, Evelyn! Don't you _ever_ watch what you are doing? You're such an idiot!"

"Hey! Zoe, it was an accident. Calm down." Meredith said, pulling Evelyn closer to her. She had noticed the tears beginning to pool in Evelyn's eyes. "Besides, it's just a can of soda. You can get another one." Zoe shook her head in frustration. Of course _she_ was the one who was in the wrong, not Evelyn. Not everyone's favorite little angel. Zoe grabbed her crutch and stood up, steadying herself against it. "I changed my mind. I'm going in the trailer. See you in the morning." She left in a huff, her words quick and biting. Meredith pulled Evelyn into her lap and hugged her close.

"I didn't mean to…" Evelyn began, her voice quivering.

"Shhh. It's alright, Baby. I know." Meredith stroked her hair comfortingly. "Zoe's just in a bad mood right now." Meredith sighed to herself, thinking how ridiculous the whole night had been. Fighting about nothing important and not enjoying each others company. This was not how their family trip was supposed to go.

"Want some s'mores, Ev?" Derek asked. "We can get those started if you want."

Evelyn nodded, a small smile lighting her face. Derek smiled back. "Alright, come help me get the supplies."

Meredith watched them walk together to the picnic table not far away and grab supplies for their delicious treats. She wondered how the rest of this week was going to go and couldn't help but wonder if this whole thing was one giant mistake. Well, they were already here. Only time would tell how this would play out.

* * *

**REVIEWS PLEASE! **


	14. Falling Apart

**Here's the next chapter for you guys. I would really love some feedback from you guys so please review!**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen – Falling Apart

It was the third day of the trip and the emotions of the first night had eased a little. Derek had taken Zoe fishing the next morning, letting her sit on a large rock so she didn't have to stand for a long time. That time with her father had put her in a better mood. Derek had also let go of some of his frustrations and just enjoyed the quiet with Zoe. Meredith and Evelyn had gone for a walk that day also. Evelyn couldn't stay in a bad mood for long. She was too much of an optimistic, happy soul. Meredith was sure she must have inherited that from Derek. For a while, everything was fine. They spent time as a family and even Zoe had a smile or two for the rest of them. But of course, problems don't disappear when left alone. They hide underneath the surface, growing bigger and bigger, until at last they present themselves again with more forcefulness than before.

Derek and Zoe had another successful time fishing. As they walked back to their campsite, Derek was thinking about scaling the fishes and getting them ready for dinner when he heard a thud and Zoe's surprised cry. Derek spun around to see Zoe on the ground, her crutch next to her.

"Zo, are you alright?" Derek asked, rushing to her side.

"I'm fine." She snapped. Still, she accepted his help when getting to her feet. Derek grabbed her crutch from the ground and handed it to her. She looked like she was in a little pain from the fall, but Derek also presumed it had something to do with the fact she was still struggling to accept her limitations with her injury and any sign of weakness took a strong hit to her pride.

Derek stopped himself from asking her if she would be alright to make it back to the campsite. Zoe would tough it out no matter what. She was his tough little cookie after all. When she appeared ready to go, Derek began to walk along next to her at her own pace. They walked in silence, Zoe hobbling along awkwardly with her one crutch. Her brows were furrowed together in obvious frustration, but she didn't complain.

They had almost reached their destination when Zoe's crutch caught on the uneven terrain. She stumbled, letting go of her crutch so she could catch herself. Derek's arm shot out to support her, grabbing her just above the elbow. With their combined effort, Zoe managed to find her balance with out hitting the ground like before. She let out an angry scream, running her hands through her hair.

"Easy, Zo. It's fine. Here." Derek grabbed her crutch and extended it to her. Zoe grabbed it swiftly and hurled it as far as she could. Derek watched it crash to the ground and turned back to his furious daughter.

"I hate this, Dad. _I hate this_. I hate our stupid trip and that damn crutch and I hate this annoying brace." She was fuming and Derek just stood there and let her rant. "I hate all of it, especially my injury. It sucks, Dad. It all sucks!"

"Are you done?" Derek asked after a moment of silence. Zoe glared at him. Was that all he had to say about this?

"Yeah. I'm done." She said sharply.

"Go pick up your crutch." He ordered. Not in a harsh way, just in a way that told Zoe he didn't want any nonsense. After fourteen years of parenting, he had perfected that tone.

Zoe glanced over at her crutch. It was at least ten feet away. "It's too far." She complained.

"Then you shouldn't have thrown it so far. What if I wasn't here?"

Zoe shot him a look of exasperation. "Ok, fine. I won't throw it any more. Now can you please go get it?"

"No, Zoe. You threw your crutch. Go pick it up."

"What the hell, Dad? In case you haven't noticed, I have a freakin knee injury! It's hard enough for me to walk _with_ the darn crutch. Why are you being like this?"

"Why are you being like this, Zoe?" He turned the tables on her and it only bugged her more. She was sick of this, whatever this was.

"What are you talking about? I'm just mad, ok? My life kinda sucks right now. I think I have a good enough reason to be pissed off."

"This isn't you, Zoe. Sulking around, snapping at your little sister…"

"Oh of course. Because nobody can dare say one mean thing to that child or the world will end. Because she's special. She's the little girl you almost lost. She's fragile and sensitive."

"Enough! This isn't about Evelyn. You've changed. You're angrier, but it's just a façade to hide the fact that you've given up and you're hurting. And you're blaming everyone else for what happened. Now, you can blame me if you want, but don't blame your mother or your sister. And don't use blame to hide behind. Eventually, you have to move forward, Zo. You have to face reality and …"

"I'm facing reality! The reality is I can't play soccer anymore! I can barely walk like a normal person!"

"So? What, You've just going to give up because of that? See, that's not like the old Zoe."

Zoe glared at Derek. "Well, the old Zoe still had a dream, a future. Now what do I have? Nothing!"

"It's not the end of the world, Zo. This is the hard part where you put your life back together and find something else to love. I know soccer was important, but it's not your whole life. You still have a lot to live for."

"Like what?"

"You're smart, Zoe. You're determined, kind, outgoing, and loyal to your friends and family. You'll find something to love again. In the meantime, you've got family that loves you and I know some of your friends that you have been hiding from are concerned about you. Let them support you, Zoe."

Zoe wouldn't look him in the eye. She stared off in the distance while he talked. She didn't want to hear this. When he finished, she turned to him with tears in her eyes.

"You don't get what I'm going through. Stop acting like you do. I'm just trying to survive with this stupid injury that ended my soccer career. Anyone else in this situation would be doing the same."

"Ok, you can be angry for a little while longer, but eventually you'll have to figure something else out. We're not going to put up with this version of you for much longer." Derek walked over and picked up her crutch and tossed it to her. She caught it and leaned against it for stability. "Let's go back to Mom and Evelyn."

They walked in silence. Derek didn't know what to do about her. She was such a strong kid. She was a lot like Meredith, though. It was something he loved about Zoe, but He remembered all too well what Meredith was like when she was a broken person. This accident had taken a lot out of her and left her feeling overwhelmed. She was breaking on the inside. He didn't want to see her do anything as drastic as sticking a hand in a body cavity with a bomb or drowned.

"Hey, how was fishing?" Meredith asked as she saw the two approaching. She and Evelyn had just recently returned from their hike and made a snack.

Zoe didn't say anything. She went straight into the trailer without looking Meredith in the eye.

"What's wrong with her?" She asked Derek.

Derek sighed in frustration. "What do you think? She's acting all angry and depressed and self-pitying about her knee."

"Well, it's been hard on her to adjust to this new normal."

"Oh don't go giving her excuses." Derek muttered. "That's just what she wants."

"I'm not!" Meredith shot back. "I'm saying give her time!"

"It's been almost four months! How much time are we supposed to give her?"

"However long it takes. We don't need to push her before she's ready."

"So we're going to coddle her while she lives in denial and keeps putting of her problems? Great, she'll grow up never being able to deal with anything."

"What's the matter with you?" Meredith stared at him in disbelief.

"Nothing. I'm not the one enabling our daughters and ignoring our son."

Meredith recoiled as if she had been slapped. "_ignoring our…_how could you say that? I visit him when I can."

"All I know is I'm at the hospital all the time and I never see you come in. You off running around…"

"Taking care of our daughters." Meredith finished the sentence with frustration dripping from every word. "And I'm not at the hospital anymore because I _quit_ so I could be with the girls, who are struggling emotionally just to make it through the day. It hasn't been easy for me to be doing things like taking Zoe to physical therapy and Evelyn to dance lessons and staying at home doing chores and mundane tasks when I could be in surgery saving someone's life. I could be doing the job I've been doing for almost 20 years, but I'm not because the girls need me. I'm making the sacrifice for them."

"Yeah? And what about Greyson? Since he can't tell if you're there or not, you decided it didn't matter if his mother was never there?"

"Don't. Don't you dare say that. I visit him. I sit by his bedside and talk to him. I wouldn't be pointing the finger if I were you. Every time I've been there, you're busy in your office or in surgery. You may be at the hospital, but you aren't with him 24/7 so stop acting like you are. I'm not neglecting Greyson. If anything, you are neglecting the girls. You're hardly ever home anymore."

"Oh, is that so?" Derek challenged. Meredith folded her arms over her chest and stared him down.

"Yeah."

* * *

Evelyn snuck quietly into the trailer while her parents continued their battle of the words. She spotted Zoe on her bunk.

"Could you hear that?" She asked Zoe.

"You mean Mom and Dad fighting over how much of a problem child I am and what to do about me? Yeah, I heard."

"They're really angry." Evelyn said quietly. Zoe tore her eyes away from her book to see tears in Evelyn's eyes. Frustrated as she was, she still had no defense against those eyes when they were filled with tears. She sighed and motioned for Evelyn to join her on the lower bunk. She put her book down and let her baby sister crawl into her arms.

"You can cry if you need to." She told Evelyn. Evelyn nodded, but bit her lip to keep from sobbing. A few tears traveled down her face when she blinked. Zoe pulled away and sat up with her back against the wall. Evelyn moved to sit next to her just like that.

"You know, Mom and Dad won't be like this forever. They're just going through a rough patch."

"What about you?" Evelyn asked. "Will you be angry forever?"

Zoe should have lost her temper right then and there and scared the hell out of Evelyn for even saying that to her face, but she wasn't asking it to be a smartass. She was a hurt little girl that wanted to know when she would have her sister back. The truth of Evelyn's question cut deep inside Zoe and she felt immediate regret.

"No. I'm just going through a rough patch, too. Everyone's going through a rough patch."

Evelyn nodded again. They sat in silence listening to Meredith scream at Derek.

"Hey Ev? I'm sorry I'm not a very good big sister for you."

"It's ok." Evelyn said quietly.

* * *

Derek grabbed a sleeping bag from inside the trailer and slammed the door close behind him as he left with it tucked under one arm. The girls were outside by the campfire and he wanted to get in a grab it before they went to sleep. He had already set up the small tent that was used mostly by Greyson when they went camping. Grey liked to sleep in a tent rather than the trailer. Sometimes Derek would join him and they would have a 'guys night' as Grey liked to call it. "The girls can sleep in the trailer, but guys are tough and could sleep out under the stars without even a tent if they wanted, right dad?" Greyson would say, his eyes seeking Derek's approval.

"Right, buddy." Derek would tell him and rough up his shaggy hair.

But tonight Derek would be in there all alone. He needed some space. He and Meredith had gone all out in their argument. So much so, that he felt the need to grab the tent and sleeping bag and set it up away from the trailer. They were leaving in the morning, four days earlier than scheduled. Derek had insisted and by the end of it, Meredith threw up her hands in frustration and finally agreed.

Derek could hear their voices in the distance and debated joining them around the campfire just for a little while since it was their last night.

"No." He decided. "Not this time."

* * *

**What did you think? Please review! Thanks :)**


	15. Broken

**So funny story. I've had this chapter done for months and thought I posted it already. Oops. Good news is I'm almost done with the next chapter! In other news, I've had a REALLY crappy month and reviews would make my day :) **

* * *

Chapter Fourteen – Broken

Zoe leaned against the side of the bleachers and watched her team in action. Her old team, she thought. They weren't hers anymore since she couldn't play with them ever again. She had come to the park to hang out with Theoren and Natalie and some other friends, but she hadn't realized her old soccer team would be having a summer league game here today.

They were excellent. She watched them score a third goal and smiled. That Katie Nelson sure had a hard shot. And a heart of gold too. Zoe suddenly ached for the companionship she'd had with her old teammates. They had bonded so quickly and now she missed it just as much as she missed the feel of a soccer ball at her feet.

"Zoe!"

Zoe turned to see her cousin coming toward her.

"I know you said you'd just be a minute, but you've been over here watching for a while. I just wanted to see if you were coming back." Natalie had a look in her eye that told Zoe she was concerned about her.

"Yeah, I've seen enough. Let's go back." Zoe said. Natalie linked arms with Zoe as the proceeded back to their group of friends. They were about to start a game of ninja. It would be tricky for Zoe, but she was willing to give it a try. "Count me in." She said.

"There's the Zoe we know and love." One of the girls said. Her name was Ashley. She and Zoe weren't the closest of friends but they liked to hang out. "Always up for a challenge. Too bad I'm going to kick your ass."

Zoe smirked. "We'll see about that. Before my injuring, you wouldn't even play me because you knew I would win. Don't be getting cocky just because I have a handicap."

They began the game and Zoe got Ashley out within two turns. She made it all the way to the last three people, just her, Theoren and another guy named James before Theoren did a quick attack on Zoe and smacked her hand before she could react, getting her out.

"Sorry, Zo, but I'm not handing you a win just because you have an injury." He teased.

"I was letting you win." She teased right back. "Saving you the embarrassment of getting beat by a gimp." Everyone laughed at this and she distracted him long enough to allow James the time to slap Theoren's hand and take the victory for himself. James laughed and sent Zoe a thumbs up.

"Well played, Shep." Theoren told her, taking a spot beside her for the next round.

"Thanks, but my real joy was getting Ashley out." She said loud enough for Ashley to hear. Ashley glared but then smiled. "Whatever."

After a while, the group broke up and started to part ways. Zoe had called her mom for a ride and sat waiting on a picnic table for her to come. Ashley was still there. She was talking on the phone, but when the conversation ended, she put the phone in her pocket and took a spot next to Zoe.

"So I know you're pretty good at pretending to be ok, but I can tell you're a little down. And I've got the perfect solution."

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Zoe asked with reasonable doubt.

"A party. It cheers anybody up. Look, you show up, you have a few drinks, a good time, you forget about all your troubles. Plus, I heard there are going to be senior guys there. You know how I have a thing for older guys."

Zoe rolled her eyes. "Senior guys are hardly _older guys_. We're going to be sophomores. They are only two years older than us."

"You're missing the point. Party, Zoe. A big huge party. "

"Yeah, I know, it's just not my thing." Zoe said defensively. She had had alcohol before, but she had never been one for the party scene and she certainly had never gotten drunk. Mostly because of soccer. She cared too much about the game to drink. Also, her mother had warned her several times not to. But now that soccer was over, there wasn't a whole lot holding her back.

Zoe spotted Meredith pulling into the park. "That's my mom. I gotta go."

"Think about, Zoe." Ashley said as Zoe grabbed her crutch and hobbled over to the car. "It's tonight starting at 9, but you can show up at any time."

"Hey, how was hanging out with your friends?" Meredith asked.

"Fine." Zoe said. Meredith glanced over at her but all Zoe would do was stare out the window and not talk. It had become a new normal for her and Meredith was struggling to find a new way to reach her.

* * *

Derek came home from a long day of surgeries. He kicked off his shoes and made his way to the liquor cabinet. He needed something to melt the stress away.

"Hey, when did you get home?" Meredith asked him as she walking into the living room.

"Just a minute ago." He said.

"Well, Evelyn woke up with a sore throat this morning. It looks like step throat again."

"Poor thing."

"Zoe spent all afternoon at the park with her friends. I think it was good for her to get out of the house and have some fun. She still wasn't very talkative afterwards, but I think she enjoyed herself."

Derek nodded and took a sip of his drink. He sunk down onto the couch and sighed. It had been such a long day.

"Listen, I was just about to bring Evelyn up a cup of tea. Do you think you could get dinner started?"

"I just sat down, Mer. Can't you do it after you get Evelyn some tea?" Derek asked, rubbing his temples, trying to ease away the headache.

Meredith shook her head. "No, Derek. I've been taking care of a sick child all day on top of everything else I had to do. I'm exhausted. If you could just get started with dinner –"

"I had back-to-back surgeries today. I've been on my feet all day and I'd really like to just rest for a minute." Derek told her, dismissing the idea of making anything tonight.

"So you think just because I'm no longer a surgeon, I don't do anything anymore that could cause me to be as tired as you?"

"That's not what I said…." Derek didn't want to fight with Meredith.

"All I'm asking for here is a little understanding!"

"With what?" Derek snapped. "I'm the one who is supporting this family now. Just me. I'd like some understanding. You know what it's like to work a long hard day and then come home and not want to do anything for a little while."

"Poor you. You don't think I miss it? You don't think I question my decision every day? I miss surgery. I miss doing what I'm good at."

"I'm not the one who told you to quit. That was all you. I was just being supportive. Why'd you quit if you didn't want to?"

"I thought it was the right move for our family, Derek. You were all in a car accident and I had to be there for all four of you at once. Do you have any idea how scared I was? I gave up my job for you and the kids. I sacrificed everything for our family. Then you come home to us and act like you'd rather be somewhere else."

"I'm working my ass off for our family! And I'm there for Greyson."

"So we're back to this again? I care about Greyson. I do what I can for him. But I don't know if you've noticed how withdrawn Zoe has become or how Evelyn doesn't smile much anymore. The girls need me, too. Somebody has to be there for them."

"I'm there for the girls when I can be, but like I said, I'm working. I'd expect you'd understand that."

"I understand that clearly you'd rather be in surgery than be here helping me with Zoe and Evelyn."

"For crying out loud, that's not what I'm saying! Stop twisting my words!"

"Oh, like you're not twisting mine?"

"Look, you're the one who started this!"

"So this is all my fault? That's real mature, Derek."

"Would you stop? Ok, let's get back to what this was really about. You want me to make dinner, but I'm too tired, so order something. Order a pizza. Problem solved."

Meredith glared at Derek. "You really want to just leave it like this?" She asked.

"Well, I don't see anything getting resolved, so yeah, stop yelling at me and order food."

Meredith spun around and marched out of the room and into the kitchen. Gripping the counters, she took several deep breathes before pushing the argument out of her head and getting tea for Evelyn. Just as it was finished, Derek walked slowly into the kitchen and leaned against the door frame. Everything about his stance told Meredith he had come to apologize, but the anger and pain was still too fresh for her to forgive him before he even asked.

"Meredith…" He began. She picked up the phone and tossed it rather forcefully in his direction. He caught it, but his expressing was one of complete surprise.

"Order your own damn pizza." She said as she walked out of the kitchen. She climbed the stairs and then opened to door to Evelyn's room.

"Hey, Baby. How are you feeling?" Meredith asked. Evelyn was lying down in her bed, but she was awake. She sat up when Meredith entered.

"My throat still really hurts." She told her mom in a pitiful voice.

"Well, I brought you some tea. Be careful, it's hot." Meredith set it down on Evelyn's nightstand. She sat on the edge of the bed and felt her forehead for a fever. It seemed a little warm to the touch so Meredith reached for the thermometer.

"Mommy?" Evelyn asked before her mother could stick the thermometer in her mouth.

"What, Honey?"

"Do you and Daddy hate each other now?" She asked, her voice quivering as she did.

Meredith felt a pang of guilt when she realized that Evelyn must have heard the argument or at the very least, their angry voices muffled through the walls. "No, Baby. Daddy and I just got in a fight. You know that we do that sometimes."

"But you did it on the camping trip too. And you don't say nice things to each other any more. You both just yell." Evelyn said, her voice giving away that she was clearly worried. She had been watching closely, too closely. Meredith wondered if perhaps the change in Evelyn's mood was due to the fact that everyone important to her had changed first. Greyson was in a coma, Zoe was silently suffering in her own world, and Meredith and Derek couldn't seem to be in the same room anymore without finding something to fight about.

Meredith caressingly stroked Evelyn's hair before her hand gently framed Evelyn's face so that she looked directly into Meredith's eyes. "I don't hate Daddy. I promise. We're just trying to work through things right now. There's been a lot of change. But we still love each other, ok? And we both love you very much."

"So you're not going to get a divorce?"

"No. Not ever." Meredith told her daughter without a trace of doubt. She could see Evelyn visible relax.

"Now, let me take your temperature."

Meredith closed the door behind her after taking care of Evelyn. She couldn't shake the guilt of what she had unknowingly put Evelyn through. And if an eight-year-old could make the observations that she had, then there was no doubt in Meredith's mind that Zoe had taken note of the recent tension between her parents. She knew that she and Derek had been struggling to find common ground lately, but she didn't think it was as bad as Evelyn had described it. _You don't say nice things to each other anymore. _Evelyn's words replayed in her mind. Had it really gotten so bad that their daughter worried her parents would get a divorce?

Meredith walked downstairs to the kitchen and found it empty. She entered the living room and saw Derek had fallen asleep on the couch. He really must have been as exhausted as he described. She would talk to him in the morning. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a can of soup for her and Evelyn to eat. An hour and half later, she was in bed ready for sleep to claim her.

* * *

Zoe's phone went off from an incoming text. She had texted Ashley earlier for a ride and Ashley had said she could find her one and would text when she was outside. Now, Zoe saw that her friend had arrived and grabbed her shoes and jacket. She opened her bedroom door and peered out into the hallway. Both her parents' room and Evelyn's room were closed and presumably dark. She quietly snuck downstairs and slowed when she saw her dad asleep on the couch in the living room. She slipped past him, out the front door, and into the darkness of night.

"Glad you decided to come." Ashley said as Zoe hopped in the car next to her. Ashley's close friend was driving. Zoe didn't know her too well, but it didn't really matter. She had needed a ride. In a matter of minutes, Zoe was at her first "real" party.

* * *

Meredith was roused from her sleep by the sound of the phone ringing. She thought she was still dreaming at first, but she came to the bitter realization that a phone was indeed ringing and it had woken her from sleep. Groggily, she flipped on the light on her nightstand and glanced at the clock. It was 12:32. "What the hell?' she said out loud. She couldn't think who could possible be calling at this hour. To her great surprise, the number on the caller i.d. was Zoe's.

"Hello?" She answered. She was thoroughly confused and half-expected her daughter not to be on the other line.

"Mom," It was Zoe alright. And she sounded scared. "Can you come pick me up?"

"Where are you?" Meredith asked. She was slowly becoming more alert and trying to piece together this puzzle. Zoe's voice was hard to her over the phone. Loud music and several other voices could be heard in the background.

"I'm… at a party."

Meredith heart sunk in her chest. "You're at a party?" Meredith was hoping she had heard wrong.

"Yes, ok I know you're mad, but could you just come pick me and yell at me in the car please?"

She sounded desperate. Meredith had a million horrible scenarios running in her mind as to why. She took down the address and left the house quietly. The house wasn't hard to find, even in the middle of the night. Meredith was already familiar with the street it was on and spotting the party house wasn't difficult either. She pulled up to the house just before it and looked for Zoe. She spotted her daughter walking towards the car and tried to tell if she was drunk by the way she was walking. Zoe opened the car door and slipped silently inside. She was ashamed, that much Meredith could tell.

"Are you ok?" Meredith asked her.

"Yes."

"How much did you drink?"

"Not that much." Zoe said. She kept her eyes on her shoes.

Meredith pulled away from the house and turned the car towards home. They were both silent for a moment, an awkward silence between a disappointed mother and her guilty daughter.

"Zoe Christine, what were you doing at that party?" Meredith asked. Her voice wasn't loud or filled with anger, just filled with sheer distress. Zoe's cheeks burned with humiliation.

"My friend told me about it. I thought it would be fun. I thought it would make me feel better."

Meredith shook her head and searched for the right words. Zoe glanced over at Meredith. Sometimes Zoe reminded Meredith so much of herself when she was the same age.

"You drank when you were in high school." Zoe added, hoping it would help her case.

"The last thing I want is for you to take after me!" Meredith exclaimed. "Zoe, you're too young to be going to parties with alcohol and god knows what else going on. Do you have any idea what could have happened to you?"

"Yes." Zoe said quietly. "I know I shouldn't have gone, but I just wanted…"

"What?"

"I wanted to feel like myself again. I don't really know who I am anymore. I thought that since I couldn't play soccer anymore, I could… I don't know…"

"Become an alcoholic before you graduate?" Meredith snapped.

"No, Mom." Zoe said with great frustration. "I just… I thought by trying new things, I could find myself in something else. I know it wasn't a good idea to go and I didn't end up enjoying myself, ok? And my friends that drove me got really wasted and I was afraid I was going to have to stay the night there. I won't do it again."

Meredith couldn't help but hurt over her daughter's suffering. It had been hard to watch Zoe lose her joy in life, her dreams, a whole part of her that she didn't know how to replace.

"Zoe, I know life seems hard right now for you, but it won't always be like this." Meredith told Zoe, reaching across to give her hand a reassuring squeeze. "It _will_ get better. You will find something that makes you smile again."

"Promise?" Zoe asked, desperate for some hope to cling to.

"I promise. Now Promise me something? Promise me you won't scare me like that in the middle of the night again?" Meredith asked.

"I promise." Zoe said.

"You really gave me a heart attack, Kid."

"I'm sorry, Mom."

The car pulled into their driveway. "Zoe," Meredith started before they got out of the car. Her voice had returned to its serious tone and Zoe could guess what was coming. "In the morning, we're going to tell your dad. You're not off the hook yet, but it's late and it can wait until morning."

"Ok." Zoe said, not looking forward to seeing the look on her dad's face when he found out. They walked silently back into the house and up the stairs. No matter how hard she tried, Zoe couldn't fall into a restful sleep. She was worried about tomorrow and how her father was going to react.

* * *

"She did _what_?" Derek asked. Zoe couldn't look him in the eye as Meredith told him about last night. He always expected her to be great, to do well in school and make smart decisions, to be above the stupid mistakes of her peers. It was hard expectations to live up to.

"Were you drinking?" He asked her.

"A little." She told him quietly.

"Zoe, what were you thinking?" Derek asked her. His question forced her to look up and meet his disapproving gaze.

"I wasn't…"

"Yeah, that much is clear." Derek said bitterly. "I thought you were smarter than that."

"Derek…" Meredith rested her hand on his forearm, trying to calm him down.

"I'm sorry." Zoe whispered.

"Go to your room. Your mother and I need to discuss this." He told her. Zoe gladly got off the couch and flew up the stairs to the safe haven that was her room.

"Derek, I know you are upset – I am too – but don't you think you are being a little harsh?"

Derek gave her a stunned look. "Too harsh? Meredith, our fourteen year old daughter was drinking last night at a party! She needs to know that that is not ok."

"She called me to come and get her in the middle of the party. She knew she made a mistake and she wanted to get out of there. She could have stayed and tried to hide this from us. She could have kept partying for as long as she could for weeks or months, but she didn't. She made a mistake, Derek. I'm not saying she doesn't deserve punishment, but I'm saying she knows she did wrong and she is sorry, so there is no need to be so cruel."

"If we go easy on her, she's going to think she can get away with a lot more. We need to be firm with her or she's just keep up this type of behavior."

Meredith narrowed her eyes in Derek's direction. They rarely fought like this over how to discipline the kids. It was never this hard, but like everything else they discussed now, they took opposite sides and a heated argument ensued.

"If we go too harsh on her, we'll push her away. She's already struggling so much with her injury and soccer and Greyson. She doesn't need to be treated like a felon. She needs to know we are here for her. So we ground her or something just long enough to get the point across that we don't approve of last night's choices. She already feels guilty about it."

"She has to know that there are consequences for her actions! Come on, Meredith. When did you become so soft?"

Meredith's mouth dropped open, shocked. She couldn't think of a response fast enough.

Derek was about to say something else when he caught movement in the corner of his eye. He glanced over to see Evelyn hiding in the next room, listening to everything that was said. The look on her face stopped Derek from proceeding. When she realized she had been spotted, she tried to run, but Derek had already seen her. The guilt hit him like ton of bricks falling on his chest. "I – I need…."

"What?" Meredith snapped, still feeling the sting of his previous comment.

He looked over at Meredith then back at the spot where his eight year old had vacated. "I need some space." He said. Meredith watching in disbelief as Derek grabbed his keys and his jacket.

"Derek, where are going? We're not done here! You can't just –"

Derek slammed the front door behind him, cutting Meredith off. He hopped in the car as fast as he could before Meredith could come and talk him out of it. He was gone in a matter of seconds, pulling away from the house and leaving Meredith standing on the porch, confused and angry, but most of all hurt.

* * *

**Don't forget to leave a review! :) **


	16. Healing

**Okay! This is it! The FINAL chapter! ... and I didn't make you wait MONTHS for it! Hurray for progress! So, since this story is wrapping up, I would REALLY love many, many reviews on this chapter and the story as a whole. Thanks, everyone! Enjoy! **

* * *

Chapter Fifteen – Healing

Derek gazed off into the distance, completely wrapped up in his thoughts. He was unaware of the hustle and bustle that surrounded him at Seattle Grace Mercy West. Last night had been rough. After driving off yesterday morning, he had driven to Owen and Cristina's, surprising both them and himself when he stood unannounced at their doorstep. But he had needed someone to talk to and for many years, that had always been Owen and Cristina, so they let him in without question.

Owen put on a pot of coffee, sensing that this was going to be a long talk. Then Derek just started to talk, cluing him in on everything that had been going on with their family. Derek didn't realize until that moment just how isolated he and Meredith had become. Since Meredith had stopped working, she saw Cristina less and less. It had started to take its toll on her. Derek was worse, though. He spent countless hours at the hospital with his friends and people he cared about and he couldn't bring himself to open up to them and let them know what was going on. That had to change.

Derek told him about their struggles with Zoe and how to handle the situation. He told Owen how he and Meredith could hardly hold a conversation without it turning into an argument. "And right in the middle of the fight, I look over and I see Evelyn peeking in us and she's got this look on her face. She looked terrified. And I knew I couldn't put her or Zoe or Meredith through that anymore. I couldn't put myself through it anymore. So I got out of the house and I came here."

Owen nodded, just letting the information sink in. Cristina had disappeared somewhere, probably to give the men space, so it was just Derek and Owen sitting in the kitchen. They talked for hours and before Derek knew it, it was night, but he couldn't bring himself to go home and face Meredith.

"You can take the couch for tonight." Owen offered. "But I strongly suggest you talk with Meredith tomorrow. Don't let this go on much longer. Just be open and honest with each other."

Derek nodded, knowing Owen was right. He had work in the morning, but afterward, he needed to make time for some serious discussions with his wife.

* * *

Meredith heard the alarm clock go off, but she pushed the snooze button and pulled the covers up around her face. She didn't want to get up. Not after last night. Derek hadn't come home, he hadn't called, and she had no idea what that meant for them. The images of him storming out of the house without any explanation played over again in her mind. It was so unlike Derek. If anything, it was more like Meredith. She was the one who used to run out and leave Derek wondering, but that had stopped after they got married and had three kids together. She didn't know what to think of the situation now. What was happening to them? They were being more childish than their eight-year-old!

The door creaked open and Meredith heard the sound of little footsteps coming into the room. She felt the bed move and the covers shift. She rolled over to find Evelyn snuggling up to her.

"Hey, Sweetie, are you feeling better this morning?"

Evelyn nodded. Meredith pressed her hand to Evelyn's forehead and was satisfied with how cool it felt compared to a few days ago.

"Where's Daddy?" Evelyn asked.

"At work." Meredith answered. At least, he should be by now. She didn't have the energy to worry about where he was if he wasn't at work.

"Are you hungry, Ev?"

"Yeah."

"Me too. Let's go get some breakfast."

"Ok." Evelyn agreed, but neither one made a move to get up.

"In a few minutes." Meredith added, pulling the covers up around her and Evelyn and both closed their eyes for a few more minutes of rest.

* * *

Zoe reread the text from Natalie about hanging out today and buried her head in her pillow, letting out a frustrated sigh. She desperately needed a friend to talk to, preferably face-to-face, but in light of her recent actions, she couldn't see her mom letting her go anywhere in the near future. It was upsetting, especially since Natalie was always so easy to talk to and didn't gossip about what Zoe told her to anyone. Yes, she could really use her cousin right now. She had so many worries that she felt like she was going to burst. She heard movement in the hallway and figured either Evelyn or her mom was up. She took a deep breath and quickly got dressed.

* * *

Meredith grabbed the box of cereal from the cabinet and handed it to Evelyn so she could make herself a bowl. They hadn't been down in the kitchen long before Zoe appeared. Her face was serious and perhaps a little sad, Meredith realized. Zoe came up next to Meredith and talked quiet enough so Evelyn couldn't overhear.

"Mom, can I go over to Natalie's today?" Zoe asked.

"I don't know…" Meredith hesitated.

"Please." Zoe pleaded. Her voice dropped to an even softer whisper. "I really just need someone to talk to."

Meredith's heart broke at the sound of desperation in Zoe's voice. Natalie was Zoe's 'Cristina' in many ways. Meredith didn't have it in her to deny her hurting girl the simple request.

"Ok, but don't leave Natalie's. Promise?"

"Promise." Zoe said. She had never had to promise things before the other night and now she knew – with good reason – that her parents no longer trusted her. She would do what she could to regain that in the future.

* * *

Lexie headed down a hallway in the hospital and turned into one of the rooms.

"Hey Greyson." She greeted, seating herself in the chair next to her comatose nephew. "I'm sorry it's been a while. I guess I got a little busy trying to get everything in order for Natalie and the new school year coming up. Plus, you know how busy we surgeons are on a regular basis."

Lexie sighed, feeling like her excuses were just that – excuses. Feeling a little guilty at her absence, she reached for his hand and held it between her own, deciding today was going to be a nice long visit with Greyson. She gazed at his expressionless, pale, unmoving face and smiled through her tears. "I really miss seeing your smile. Natalie and Zoe don't know what to do without you causing them all sorts of trouble."

Lexie paused and took a deep breath, doing her best to fight the lump in her throat. It didn't matter how long he laid there, the pain never went away. She knew it was worse for Meredith and Derek. From what she could see, they were barely hanging on. "I know it's been a while, Grey, but I can't let you give up. Ok? Please just…"

Lexie's pager suddenly went off and it caused her to start. She sighed and took just a few seconds to collect herself, wiping the tear stains from her cheeks and finally rushing out of the room to see what emergency had come up. "I'll be back later if I can." She promised as she threw a backward glance into Greyson's room.

* * *

"Alright, Zoe," Natalie began, "What's going on with you? Is this about the party?"

Zoe head shot up, not realizing Natalie knew. "Did Ashley tell you?"

"No. Your mom called my mom."

Zoe rolled her eyes. Their parents were bigger gossips than girls at school. "Not really. Maybe a little." Zoe sighed, struggling to find the words that would perfectly explain to her cousin exactly how she was feeling. "It's a whole bunch of little things in combination with the accident." She shrugged her shoulders helplessly.

Natalie nodded, urging Zoe to go on. She'd been wanted to reach out to her cousin for a while and get her to open up, but she didn't want to push. Well, more like she chickened out every time she wanted to ask Zoe how she was _really_ doing. Both girls were on Natalie's bed, Zoe stretched out on her back, eyes on the ceiling while Natalie had propped her back against the wall in the opposite direction.

"I don't know what happened to my family, Nat. We used to be close. You know this. But now I don't even know who we are. My parents aren't the same, I'm not the same, and Greyson is not even there! And Evelyn is so young. At least I've had my childhood already. She's only eight and she's going to have all these awful memories from her childhood. What if it doesn't get better? What will that do to Evelyn? What will that do to me?" Zoe's voice hitched on her last sentence. She hated herself for the tears that came. She didn't want to cry, she just wanted to talk, to get it all out so she didn't explode. Natalie pushed herself away from the wall and maneuvered so that she was on her back next to Zoe, her arm linked through her cousin's.

"I'm here. Just keep talking." Natalie said. Zoe cracked a smile. It helped to know that since Natalie was right next to her, staring at the ceiling, she would notice any tears Zoe did shed. Or at least they could both pretend she didn't.

"My dad didn't come home last night. He works all the time and comes home and he fights with my mom. But I think it's worse for my mom. She's a surgeon and she's putting us first, but at a heavy price. I know it's hard for her to not be at the hospital doing what she loves. I think if she was working, she would have less time to worry about everyone. I guess I feel a little guilty about that…" Zoe admitted.

"Why?" Natalie asked.

"My mom quit for me and Ev. She did it for us and look where it's gotten her."

"Zoe, she did it because she loves you. Don't feel guilty. Just realize how much she loves you."

"I know." Zoe said, wiping a few more fresh tears and trying to control her voice. She cleared her throat. "I know my parents love me, but sometimes I wonder…I…It's just that if my parents never had me, none of this would have happened. Not even the car crash. That happened on the way back from my game so –"

"Zoe, don't do this!" Natalie cut in. "Don't play the 'what if' game. Stop." Natalie sat up and crossed her legs Indian-style. She looked Zoe right in the eye. "None of this is your fault. It's just life. Nobody in your family holds all the blame for what has happened. Not you, not your dad, not anybody. You hear me?"

Zoe locked eyes with her cousin and nodded. She knew Natalie was right, but it didn't stop those thoughts from popping into her head. "I'm also worried that I'm tearing my parents apart. When I told you they always fight, I didn't tell you it's almost always about me. And after I went to that party, they had the worst fight they've had yet. All I do now is cause problems for our family." She started sobbing then and Natalie felt a wave of sympathy for her poor suffering cousin.

"Come here." Natalie pulled Zoe up so that she was sitting right next to her. She wrapped her arms around her and Zoe rested her head on Natalie's shoulder. "You are not to blame for the car crash, ok? Don't even think that anymore. And maybe you've made a mistake or two in the past few months that have led to some arguments between your parents, but that is not all on you either. They were the ones that chose to handle those situations by screaming at each other. Look, what your family is going through right now sucks. I honestly don't know how you are still functioning, but you are."

"Barely." Zoe mumbled.

"Still! You are incredibly strong, Zoe. I don't know what is going to happen next, but I know that no matter what it is, you are going to be ok. So, where was I…" Natalie paused and cocked her head to one side.

"What my family is going through sucks…." Zoe helped her out.

"Right! Ok, so everybody is handling it differently and it is a hard time for all of you. Your parents are taking their fear and frustration out on each other and you are taking it out on yourself… so to speak. Does that make sense?" Natalie asked, wondering if the things she was coming up with were any help at all.

"Yes, you are very insightful. You should be therapist." Zoe said with a smile. Natalie laughed. "Maybe. Maybe I should start charging you right now!"

Zoe groaned. "No way. No degree, no money for you!" Natalie laughed at this and Zoe joined in, welcoming the feeling it brought. She felt just a little bit lighter.

"Are you feeling better?" Natalie asked.

"Yeah. I wasn't kidding, you know what you are talking about. I just can't figure out how…"

Natalie shrugged. "I just get people. You are especially easy to figure out."

"Why is that?"

"I've known you for too many years." Natalie said it like it was a threatening thing.

Zoe laughed. "Remind me never to cross you… you know too much about me."

* * *

"I'm back, Grey." Lexie greeted her nephew as she entered his hospital room. "Ugh. I just got bounced from one thing to another. Sorry it took so long." Lexie slumped into the chair near Grey's bedside and let out an exhausted sigh. "It's been a long day, Buddy." She rubbed her eyes tiredly and yawned. "I could probably fall asleep in this chair right here." Lexie just sat there for a moment, enjoying the peacefulness. She grabbed Greyson's hand again and held it gently in her own, but her thoughts were preoccupied with work and a million other things. She stared off in the distance, her mind a thousand miles away. She startled when she thought she felt something squeeze her hand, but she figured it was just a twitch of her own hand. She was tired and probably a little delirious as well. She yawned again and leaned back in the chair. "I think I'm loosing it, Grey. I'm sleep deprived and overworked. You know, the usual."

She watched his face, aching for him to open his eyes, to smile, to be his usual boyish self. Anything but comatose. She caught a flicker of movement in the corner of her eye and she quickly glanced down at his hand that lay still at his side. Had it move or had she imagined it? Her eyes flew back to his face. Had he moved or did she just want it so bad, her mind was playing tricks on her?

"Get a grip, Lexie." She whispered to herself. "If he wakes up, you'll know it."

"Hello, Lexie." Derek's voice startled Lexie. "Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you." He said with a laugh.

"It's fine. I'm so out of it right now that just about every sound keeps making me jump."

Derek came further into the room and took the chair on the opposite side. His eyes rested on Greyson's pale, still face. "Hey, Bub."

After a moment, he turned his attention back to Lexie. "So, sis, what's got you so jumpy?"

Lexie smiled slightly, but shook her head. "You don't need me to dump my issues on you when you are dealing with enough already."

"Please, it would be a welcome distraction to talk about something other than my rebellious daughter or rocky marriage."

Lexie's gaze softened. She didn't know it was that bad. But he clearly didn't want to talk about it. She smiled at him.

"Ok, Dr. Shepherd. You get to hear _all_ about my week." She began. Derek leaned back in his chair, listening to his sister-in-law and tuning everything else out that was wearing on him. "Starting with a patient I had on Tuesday that…"

She stopped mid-sentence and Derek shot her a look of concern. "What is it?" He asked. But Lexie wasn't looking at him. Her eyes were on Greyson.

"I wasn't imagining it." She whispered to herself. Then, louder, she turned to Derek and exclaimed. "Derek, he's waking up!"

* * *

When Derek had called, Meredith thought something was seriously wrong. The way his voice shook when he said her name made her assume the worst, but she nearly collapsed with relief when he told her what had really happened. Greyson had woken up. He told her that they were running tests on him now and that she and girls should get to the hospital as quickly as possible. "It's too early to determine the extent of the neurologic damage, but…." His voice was tight with emotion. "He looks good, Mer. I think we got our boy back." Meredith felt something growing in her soul that she thought was long gone: Hope. For the first time since Derek, Zoe, Evelyn, and Greyson had entered that hospital the day of the crash, Meredith had hope that all of them could now leave. Together. As a whole and complete family again. It was enough to make her fall onto the couch and sob with relief.

After she had gathered her wits and got her emotions under control, Meredith had hurried Evelyn into the car and rushed to get Zoe, doing everything she could not to drive too fast. It wasn't long before they were in the hospital, rushing through the building like madmen. Meredith felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest. They were finally at the room, just standing on the brink of the entrance. Meredith peered in and made eye contact with a set of deep blue eyes she had worried she might never see again. She gripped the door frame for support. There he was, her baby boy. He was sitting up while a flurry of doctors moved around the room. He didn't look quite like himself. A little dazed and bewildered, but underneath it all, when his eyes met hers, she saw him. He was still there. She moved forward until she was standing as close to him as she could manage. There were a million things she wanted to say to him, yet she couldn't for the life of her say even one word. Tears began to blur her vision, but she furiously blinked them away with a few spilling over and running down her cheeks. She wanted to drink in the sight of her son and not miss a moment. Her hand reached out and caressed his face, wanting to make sure that this was indeed real. She was completely unaware of anything else going on in the room because at that moment, Greyson smiled for the first time in four months and it made her heart sore. How many times had she gazed at his comatose form and wished he would just open his eyes and flash her that mischievous smile? It felt like a dream. She almost didn't believe it at first when she saw him lift the corners of his mouth and smile at her.

"Greyson." She managed to voice his name. She leaned in and kissed his cheek, leaving a few of her tears on his face when she pulled away. She felt a strong arm slip around her waist and remembered that she wasn't alone. She leaned into Derek's embrace, but kept her eyes on Greyson, as if turning away would make him slip back into unconsciousness.

Zoe and Evelyn had crept closer and now stood on either side of their parents. Lexie had left the room and the other doctors had followed suit, giving the family a moment they had been waiting for since that one tragic car crash.

* * *

"Meredith, can we talk?" Derek whispered in her ear. It had been a few hours since they had all arrived and the initial emotions of shock and disbelief were wearing off. The joy was still there, but as happy as they were to have Greyson back, it didn't fix everything that had happened in the past few months. In all the events of the day, they had yet to even acknowledge what happened yesterday. Meredith nodded and followed him out of the room. They found a secluded area and Meredith waited for him to speak. When he hesitated, she jumped in.

"No running, remember? It was in our vows."

Derek sighed. "I wasn't running, Mer. I just –"

He saw Meredith cross her arms over her chest. Who was he kidding? They both knew he had run. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ran. I was scared and I needed to sort some things out."

Meredith got a knot in her stomach listening to him. "And? What did you sort out?" She tried to keep her voice steady so as not to betray her emotions, but it slipped through. Derek locked eyes with her and inwardly flinched at the pain he saw there. They had both hurt each other. Not intentionally at first, but it had become so nasty between the two of them that he hardly recognized who they were any more.

He reached for Meredith's hands. "I know that getting Greyson back doesn't erase all the bad things that happened in the past few months. I wish it did, but that's not how life works. And I know that making things right between us again is going to take time, but we promised each other forever. After all we've been through already, I'm not willing to give up on us so quickly."

Derek searched her eyes, waiting for a response. She gave his hands a squeeze and managed a small, sad smile. "Derek, I never meant for our relationship to get this bad, but I'm not giving up on us either." She told him. He pulled her into his arms and held her. He'd never have forgiven himself if he let this ruin them. They had a long road ahead of them. Along with Greyson and Zoe's physical recovery, there was so much emotional damage that needed to be mended in the family. And it started with Meredith and Derek. If they were going to help their kids through this, they needed to know they could count on each other first.

"Come on," Meredith pulled away and grabbed Derek's hand, leading him back to Greyson's room. "The kids are probably wondering where we are."

**

* * *

Several months later…**

"Sorry I'm late!" Meredith said the moment she walked in the door to her home. Derek couldn't even get a word in before she jumped in with an explanation. "I got pulled into an emergency craniotomy just before I was leaving."

"It's fine." He assured her with a smile. He loved seeing how good returning to work had been for her. "How was your shift?" He asked.

"I'll tell you about it in the car. Where are the kids?" They had taken the next few days off since the kids were all on spring break.

"I made them start their homework as soon as we walked in the door. They were thrilled, of course." He teased. "But they'll thank me when we get back late Sunday night and they don't have to do all of it then."

Meredith smiled and gave him a quick kiss before going to find her three studious ones around the dining room table. "Ok guys, finish what you are working on and then go get your shoes on. We're leaving soon."

Evelyn beamed at Meredith. She was just too excited about the camping trip. She didn't even try to focus on her last few remaining math problems. She slammed the book shut and raced out of the room. Zoe closed her books and stacked them, leaving them where she would not touch them again until Sunday night. It was just Meredith and Greyson in the room. He had his head down and his pencil slowly moving along the page. Meredith came around the table so that she was standing behind him, watching him work. Every day with him was a miracle. He went through weeks and weeks of therapy after his coma and although the process hadn't been speedy and they hit a few road bumps, the important thing was that it was clear Greyson would live a full and independent life, even with a few challenges and limitations. And his recovery wasn't over yet. He still had challenges where he used to excel, but he never gave up. He had only recently been able to return to school so there had been a lot of hurdles for him to go through, but his tenacity was inspiring. And today was their first camping trip since he had come back to them. Zoe had made great strides in her physical therapy, which didn't surprise either of her parents, and was walking without any brace or crutch.

Greyson put his pencil down and stood up. "All done, Bub?" Meredith asked, running her hand over Greyson's wayward hair, trying to get it to lay flat.

"Yes. I can't wait to go! Dad said he and I could sleep out in the tent if we wanted. We haven't done that in forever."

Meredith grinned at her happy boy. "Your dad loves you very much, Grey."

"I know." He grinned back at her. Her heart melted at the sight of it. She never took that smile for granted anymore. Every time he smiled at her, it was like she was in that hospital room all over again, mesmerized by the miracle before her.

"Go get your shoes on." She told him. He turned to go, but then quickly spun and caught her off guard with a fierce hug. She kissed the top of his head, which was getting alarmingly close to her height these days.

"I love you, Mom." He said and then was gone, hurrying to the door where he had left his shoes.

Derek came down the stairs, zipping up his jacket as he went. "Everyone ready?" He grabbed the car keys and started herding Greyson and the girls towards the garage. Meredith was still standing in the other room, just watching her family. After the accident, she never would have thought they could reach this moment. Those months in the aftermath of the crash had seemed so dark and hopeless at times. Yet here they were; Healthy, happy, and whole.

"Mer?" Derek's voice broke through her thoughts and brought her back to earth. "Are you ok?"

The kids had already gone out the door and now he was just waiting for her. Meredith smiled and started towards him. "Yeah, everything is fine." They walked out the door and Derek locked it behind them. Then, they got in the car and drove away, and as they did, Meredith glanced in the back at her three treasures and sighed contentedly. Her nightmare was over.

* * *

**Ok, I just wanted to say thanks to all my readers. You guys are the best! So please, leave one final review and let me know what you thought. But don't worry, I'm sure Zoe, Greyson, and Evelyn will pop up in some other stories along the way. I've become WAY to attached to these characters to stop writing about them! I'm glad that all of you really took to the kids and kept hounding me for updates on this story. It has been great writing this and I loved all of you reviews, so thanks everyone! and remember...**

**REVIEW PLEASE! **


End file.
